Zack: I think I've seen this kid's Youtube videos.
Steve: Beanman. He is a bean plus an old man. The powers of a bean with an old man's body.
Zack: Sounds unstoppable.
Steve: He will regulate your digestion.
Zack: Jorts and sandals and what appears to be a shower curtain hanging from one arm.
Steve: This is how he absorbs your mind energy to become younger. He's like a vampire Benjamin Button.
Zack: So a vampire only with mind energy.Steve: I just saw Benjamin Button last night. Have you seen it?
Steve: It's pretty much the same movie as Forest Gump only you're supposed to cry all through it but I was rolling up some characters for D20 Star Wars so I didn't get too upset.
Zack: Your life is an adventure, Steve.
Steve: No, that will be this weekend when the group has to infiltrate an Imperial mining colony to steal dimidium drill tips for Lando.
Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.
Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.
Ignore the hype. Find out how these games will likely go right or wrong.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.