Zack: This is that high water mark Hunter S. Thompson talks about. The monster manual wave has broken. The high point has been reached.
Steve: "I'm attacking this reef with my sword. How many hit points does it have?" *The DM pages helplessly through his books. "I JUST DON'T KNOW!!!!"
Zack: "Roll initiative."
Steve: Can't wait to get Keith and Jamie and maybe Rick in and build a whole adventure around some coral. Snorkel Outing of Elemental Evil.
Zack: Expedition to the Barrier Reef.
Zack: You know the subsequent Monstrous Compendiums featured all the usual retreads of this like "undead coral" and "giant coral" and "coral golem."
Steve: Dire coral.
Zack: From hell's heart, I gently undulate at thee.
Steve: This coral can only be defeated by placing some starfish on it.
Zack: If the party remains stationary for 6-8 months they're doomed.
‘Toad coin?’ wondered the traveler as he examined the pebble. It did not look all that different from any other pebble, and certainly nothing like a coin. ‘What manner of coin has no head or tail, and bears no seal or flag? Who backs this toad coin, the toad bank? The toad treasury!?’ The traveler laughed, but the toads croaked sternly back at him.
Spending $10-15 a day on perishable organic dog food is not a sign of a decadent culture in terminal decline, it's actually real good and worth it.
No lifeguard on duty. Maze run at your own risk.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.