Zack: This is that high water mark Hunter S. Thompson talks about. The monster manual wave has broken. The high point has been reached.
Steve: "I'm attacking this reef with my sword. How many hit points does it have?" *The DM pages helplessly through his books. "I JUST DON'T KNOW!!!!"
Zack: "Roll initiative."
Steve: Can't wait to get Keith and Jamie and maybe Rick in and build a whole adventure around some coral. Snorkel Outing of Elemental Evil.
Zack: Expedition to the Barrier Reef.
Zack: You know the subsequent Monstrous Compendiums featured all the usual retreads of this like "undead coral" and "giant coral" and "coral golem."
Steve: Dire coral.
Zack: From hell's heart, I gently undulate at thee.
Steve: This coral can only be defeated by placing some starfish on it.
Zack: If the party remains stationary for 6-8 months they're doomed.
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.