Steve: Savaged by Seamonkeys!
Zack: Five minutes before this scene these guys were in their life raft squinting at the horizon.
Zack: "What is that? Fish?"
Steve: Imagine their surprise when a hundred monkeys swarmed the raft.
Zack: I don't have to imagine it! Their surprise is right there being overwhelmed by the frenzied monkeys.
Steve: Life of Pi would have been much better as one guy fighting a swarm of monkeys for three hours instead of a standoff with a tiger.
Zack: They wheel the last old and gray monkey survivor past this dude's grave.
Steve: *laser sounds*
Cons: causes bad nightmares. I used to have to eat beef until I passed out to have these kind of terrors, but this machine does it for me every time I fall asleep inside it.
Sorry about the blurry photo. I was lunging at my phone, yelling at it to take a clear picture. It's the only image of me that exists. I'd take another picture for you, but I'm in the middle of a rigorous trampoline session.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.