Steve: Savaged by Seamonkeys!
Zack: Five minutes before this scene these guys were in their life raft squinting at the horizon.
Zack: "What is that? Fish?"
Steve: Imagine their surprise when a hundred monkeys swarmed the raft.
Zack: I don't have to imagine it! Their surprise is right there being overwhelmed by the frenzied monkeys.
Steve: Life of Pi would have been much better as one guy fighting a swarm of monkeys for three hours instead of a standoff with a tiger.
Zack: They wheel the last old and gray monkey survivor past this dude's grave.
Steve: *laser sounds*
Maria Mitchell is shown holding a telescope to each eye, using them to ogle passing hunks on the street below. OOOGA! Her tongue rolls out like a firehose, her eyes comically bulging through the ends of the telescopes.
The Internet experience of 2014 has been condensed into a single article for your convenience.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.