Steve: Savaged by Seamonkeys!
Zack: Five minutes before this scene these guys were in their life raft squinting at the horizon.
Zack: "What is that? Fish?"
Steve: Imagine their surprise when a hundred monkeys swarmed the raft.
Zack: I don't have to imagine it! Their surprise is right there being overwhelmed by the frenzied monkeys.
Steve: Life of Pi would have been much better as one guy fighting a swarm of monkeys for three hours instead of a standoff with a tiger.
Zack: They wheel the last old and gray monkey survivor past this dude's grave.
Steve: *laser sounds*
Are we not allowed to be real parents anymore? We may have feared the CyborFreaks, but we damn well respected them and learned about boundaries.
A thousand years ago, dudes were dying from splinters, but now the wizard potion that cleans our light wounds costs less than a Dr. Pepper in 1994. I love this medicinal 7up.
Ron Paul spins in his chair, trying to grab his decorative antique musket but Freddy gets it first.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.