Steve: Savaged by Seamonkeys!
Zack: Five minutes before this scene these guys were in their life raft squinting at the horizon.
Zack: "What is that? Fish?"
Steve: Imagine their surprise when a hundred monkeys swarmed the raft.
Zack: I don't have to imagine it! Their surprise is right there being overwhelmed by the frenzied monkeys.
Steve: Life of Pi would have been much better as one guy fighting a swarm of monkeys for three hours instead of a standoff with a tiger.
Zack: They wheel the last old and gray monkey survivor past this dude's grave.
Steve: *laser sounds*
When I try to clear the ball, run into me at a thousand miles per hour, sending me flying halfway across the map. If the ball is coming down in front of the opposing goal and I'm in position to tap it in, run into me at a thousand miles per hour. Never stop slamming into me at a thousand miles per hour, unless you can slam into me even faster.
eSports are getting more attention, but these new non-nerd spectators have no idea what's going happening. Help them understand how and why you've decided to waste your life with these simple approaches.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.