Steve: That's my average day.
Zack: I think this is the plot of the Treasure of the Sierra Madre.
Steve: Is that the one with we don't need no stinkin' badges?
Zack: Yes, with Humphrey Bogart and they're mining for gold in Mexico. Or on Mars. Mining for Phlogiston.
Steve: I remember when they unlock the Martian code and reactivate the atmosphere thingy and Humphrey Bogart's eyes are bulging out of his head.
Zack: And then Arnold Schwarzenegger sees the three-fingered handprint on the mules the Martians brought into town and His Majesty's Infantry arrests them and hangs them.
Steve: But at least before they died they got to see three boobs on a Chinese vampire.
"My Dance of Healing will mend your wounds. It takes two days, though."
It is standard procedure for the White House to have a synthetic. But it sometimes malfunctions...
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.