Zack: We all have those motives.
Steve: Not me! Those are chaotic evil motives. I'm neutral good. I do what's right but I don't pick sides.
Zack: You wouldn't even do two chicks at the same time?
Steve: Of course I would do that.
Zack: They're super ugly. One of them has giant gums and tiny teeth and the other one is gassy and keeps letting loose these awful, eggy farts.
Steve: Then I wouldn't do it.
Zack: But what if they were both lawful good and the only way to save them was to do them both at the same time?
Steve: Sometimes you just have to shift alignment.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Cons: causes bad nightmares. I used to have to eat beef until I passed out to have these kind of terrors, but this machine does it for me every time I fall asleep inside it.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.