Zack: Hello gorgeous!
Steve: This is the hot babe?
Zack: It says so right there. Fatima Khan is a dusky-skinned beauty who dresses like a typical college student.
Steve: She looks like the crazy lady that used to live behind the tannery by my bus stop. She would come out in the morning and try to sell us dolls she made out of her hair.
Zack: Did you ever buy any of that dusky-skinned beauty's hair dolls?
Steve: No, although she gave one to me once. She said she made it for me and she walked up and took it out of her mouth and put it in my hand before I could do anything. It was really cold that day and I remember looking down at my hand and it was steaming and wet.
Zack: You lead a charmed life, Steve.
Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.
Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.
Ignore the hype. Find out how these games will likely go right or wrong.
Doing some reps on the water bottle huh. I prefer bench press myself. Just kidding - stay hydrated.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.