Steve: Suddenly I don't feel so good about Thai Iced Teas.

Zack: Or Canada.

Steve: I hope these people were paid really well for all of their hard work.

Zack: I hope someone is scrawling these names in lipstick on their chest. Preferably a person identified by a place name followed by how they kill prostitutes.

Steve: The Hershey Chewer.

Zack: The Portland Dissolver.

Steve: The Albuquerque Rocket Launcher.

Zack: The Mannheim Steamroller.

Steve: Another deadly Christmas!

Zack: I wish there were some way we could get the US Army involved. They could round up all these people out of their houses and march them past unsold copies of Contenders. Really force them to confront the magnitude of their atrocities and then after that make them dig a hole so we can bury the books.

Steve: I think it might be past the statute of limitations.

Zack: There were ten years between wars with Iraq.

Steve: I don't get it!

Zack: I'm just saying I watched Saddam hang on a cell phone video and John Heartwell is walking free and sipping Thai iced tea. Saddam gassed a few Kurds. Heartwell gave us Reba Miller and The Chain.

Steve: This is getting really dark! I think we should end this before one of those people sues Lowtax for something.

Zack: If you are anyone other than the people listed above, feel free to email me or Steve and suggest a topic for a future WTF, D&D!? I'll try to use the time in between to drink some of John Heartwell's images from my short term memory.

– Zack Parsons and Steve "Malak" Sumner (@sexyfacts4u)

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