Zack: The wraithbone buzzes to us!
Steve: Dang I forgot all about the bee men aspect warriors of the Eldar.
Zack: Jet packs and bee wings and gun arms and little shuriken catapults that look like crossbows. The only part even close is the helmet, but even that is wrong. Like the artist thought that was their head.
Steve: I like these dudes better than the current Eldar dudes. Those guys are all about feelings and runes. These guys look like they might have been woke up by an atomic test and they're getting giant.
Zack: Thrills! Chills! Failed armor saving throws! See the new age of nuclear horror! Awakened by careless scientists, these mutagenic monsters are ready to lose the assault phase in your town!
Steve: The Avatar is a big queen bug thing and she has little worms that fight alongside her. That's way cooler than some mopey space elves.
Zack: Waaa our race is suffering from colony collapse disorder. Mankind is killing us with his cell phone towers.
Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.
Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.
Ignore the hype. Find out how these games will likely go right or wrong.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.