Steve: Wow, done already!?
Zack: Steve, we've only scratched the surface of the WTF awaiting us in Rogue Trader.
Steve: That's fine by me, this book is way sweeter than I remember. Space clams? Future frogs? How can you not love it?
Zack: Be careful what you wish for, Steve. Next week we will take a look at all the many things that made Rogue Trader lame.
Steve: I remember I read some novel back when Rogue Trader and that red book were the only Warhammer 40,000 books out. It was about an Inquisitor and he was like fighting a giant octopus that they were going to use to resurrect the emperor or something. And then he had sex. It was awesome.
Zack: Yeah, you're talking about one of the most infamously bad books ever written for Warhammer.
Steve: A squat was one of the main characters. And I think the Inquisitor dude ended up getting trained to be an eldar or something. It was so sweet.
Zack: This is why I hate you.Steve: Give it up, you love me and you love Rogue Trader. Dude, don't even try to be anti-space clam. It's freaking space clam!
Zack: I don't mind what they do in the privacy of their own homes. I just don't want my children being exposed to the space clam agenda.
Maria Mitchell is shown holding a telescope to each eye, using them to ogle passing hunks on the street below. OOOGA! Her tongue rolls out like a firehose, her eyes comically bulging through the ends of the telescopes.
The Internet experience of 2014 has been condensed into a single article for your convenience.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.