Steve: This looks like a pretty intense fight!
Zack: Come on, Steve! BE DESCRIPTIVE!
Steve: Okay, Cammy is doing a spinny thing on her hand and kicking out and backwards with her legs. I don't know how her hat is staying on, maybe like centrifugal force or something. And she seems like she's dodging the swipe of this dude who looks like an old man sailor with one big eye and he's got a lobster claw sort of stuck down in his wrist.
Zack: Yeah, but what does it smell like?
Steve: Like a sweaty clam.
Zack: I've been there before. Two drink minimum, all nude. I've got the lobster scars to prove it.
This is very real. As an insider I possess damning evidence that could utterly destroy Something Awful. This website has many enemies who appear to be coming to power in the United States. They probably have lots of money at their disposal, and I could really use some.
Don't let the winter dryness destroy your sinuses.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.