Steve: This looks like a pretty intense fight!
Zack: Come on, Steve! BE DESCRIPTIVE!
Steve: Okay, Cammy is doing a spinny thing on her hand and kicking out and backwards with her legs. I don't know how her hat is staying on, maybe like centrifugal force or something. And she seems like she's dodging the swipe of this dude who looks like an old man sailor with one big eye and he's got a lobster claw sort of stuck down in his wrist.
Zack: Yeah, but what does it smell like?
Steve: Like a sweaty clam.
Zack: I've been there before. Two drink minimum, all nude. I've got the lobster scars to prove it.
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.