Steve: Now we're into the different armies. Starting with, of course, Space Marines. The genetically engineered, 8-foot tall, ultimate badasses of humanity.
Zack: If you go into a hobby shop and there is a 12 year old there he is going to be playing one of three things: Yugi-Oh, Magic, or Space Marines.
Steve: They're easy to understand and they appeal to the 12 year old mind.
Zack: Yeah, there are space elves and space orks and regular guys with tanks, but then we've got these other guys called Toughest Fighters. They're like the other armies, but they fight tougher.
Steve: The best part is when you buy your first batch of Space Marines you are entitled to argue about which chapter of Space Marines is the toughest.
Zack: I liked the Space Wolves, but they didn't quite fit with me so I went ahead and made my own chapter. They're called the Dark Wolves. The Emperor made them by crossing Dark Angels with the Space Wolves.
Steve: They sound pretty awesome.
Zack: Oh, and they're all female.
Zack: Even the dreadnoughts.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Cons: causes bad nightmares. I used to have to eat beef until I passed out to have these kind of terrors, but this machine does it for me every time I fall asleep inside it.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.