Dr. Thorpe:Hey, wait a minute, I don't think those are official Dipset shoes. I can't put my finger on it, but something looks a little bit fishy about them.

Zack:"Let me just drag a dead rat across the front of my shirt...now hand me the ketchup...mmmm, yeah, all set. Let's hit the club." He'll be really excellent at picking up women who are eating French fries.

Dr. Thorpe:It took him a while to get back in the game after the indignity he suffered when someone ran over him with their bike. Good thing he had the fashion skills to turn tragedy into triumph by parlaying the skid mark into an ensemble so grand it could only be captured with a montage shot.

More Fashion SWAT

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Freakypizza: The Sweater Curse

    Freakypizza: The Sweater Curse

    Elliot said my breakup must have been due to the sweater curse, an unexplained phenomenon where anyone who gives their significant other a hand-knit sweater gets dumped. The only way to break the curse, Elliot said, was to destroy the sweater.

  • Spout.ly Drinking Fountain Enthusiast Lingo

    Spout.ly Drinking Fountain Enthusiast Lingo

    Can't tell a drinking fountain from a urinal? We've got you covered. Brush up on your drinking fountain enthusiast -- or sipper -- vocabulary and learn to talk and swap sips with the best of them.

About This Column

Fashion SWAT... the fashion industry is obsessed with impracticality. We know that what designers create was never meant to be worn by the grimy masses, but that doesn't somehow diminish how ridiculous many of these costumes are. Make no mistake, they are costumes, and like a Halloween prize pageant we will turn our discerning gaze on the grievous fashion misfires of Paris, Milan, and New York. We're not pulling any punches, and we're definitely not interested in making any friends. We're Joan Rivers without Melissa Rivers to temper our screeching. We're the Fashion Police in jack boots. We are Fashion SWAT.

Previous Articles

Suggested Articles

Copyright ©2015 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.