|Henchman Status Update (2 of 4)|
|The status of Velvet Varlet has been changed from ACTIVE to CAPTURED.|
|Name: Matrefucari, Vitorio (CAPTURED)|
Codename(s): Velvet Varlet, Cadsanova, The Pricubus
Join Date: 8-1-03
Primary Role: Wicked Knave
Secondary Role: Bodice shredding, cuckolding, wife taking, wife abandoning, coed grappling, dueling, moustache transportation
Specialties: Rated AAA on the Matsuo All-weather Codpiece, certified on the General Electric Pulse Libidotron, Matsuo Pubic Scrambler, and the Pfester HR-66 "Hatrack" Hydraulic Rectal Hook.
Availability: On Hire (hire)
Average Customer Rating: (rate)
|Circumstance of Contract Liquidation:|
Caught in the act of adult congress with a billionaire tourist's wife by the billionaire tourist. The tourist chased Velvet Varlet onto the balcony where the pair engaged in a vigorous battle with fencing sabres. Though naked as a skylark, Velvet Varlet bested his foe. In so doing he attracted the attention of one of the T.E.A.M. operatives that infiltrated the peninsula by imaginary float plane service. Velvet Varlet attempted to use his mesmerizing musk against the female agent, but she proved to be sexually disinclined towards men and subsequently tasered Velvet Varlet in a sensitive location. No, not his testicles, nor his anus. He was tasered in his (more)
If that boy isn't willing to shoot his laser and get you that carbon, he's not worth your time.
REFORMED HOG - Former member of the swine family, has now agreed to behave like a proper dog. Free to patient home willing to overlook physical defects. 555-2519
Available in Large, which is actually a Medium stretched out to appear bigger.
If you're in a tight spot, this is going to be really helpful (I'M JOKING. I'M KIDDING AROUND)
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