|Henchman Status Update (3 of 4)|
|The status of FELL ROVER has been changed from ACTIVE to DESTROYED.|
|Name: RVR-270C (DESTROYED)|
Codename(s): FELL ROVER
Join Date: 9-9-86
Primary Role: Roving
Secondary Role: Chopping, drilling, crushing, flash-freezing, sampling, torturing
Specialties: Can detect motion, swears constantly, never afraid to initiate a staring contest, equipped with a gripping hand at ball-height, optional boombox and tape of "World Destruction."
Availability: On Hire (hire)
Average Customer Rating: (rate)
|Circumstance of Contract Liquidation:|
While patrolling the perimeter of the Imaginary Escapes Resort, FELL ROVER detected non-evil movement and sought to investigate. Arriving at the scene FELL ROVER found an abandoned zodiac boat and several SCUBA sets. Relying on his innate ability to track good, FELL ROVER located a six man UNFORCE commando team and a T.E.A.M. agent. Using a mixture of drills and lurching wheelies, FELL ROVER killed all six commandos. He cornered the T.E.A.M. agent and was about to drill through his core when the agent asked FELL ROVER if it was possible to "love hatred." This caused a logic core overflow and (more)
Gentle creature Mark Zuckerberg informs you that he enjoys his dog and wife the normal human amount. That he has a plan. That he will be Gentle Leader.
Afraid of ideas and free speech? Well then you better not read this article, coward.
Candles scented like Destiny planets - increases KDR by 26%!
Featured articles and columns that don't fit anywhere else on Something Awful.