|Henchman Status Update (3 of 4)|
|The status of FELL ROVER has been changed from ACTIVE to DESTROYED.|
|Name: RVR-270C (DESTROYED)|
Codename(s): FELL ROVER
Join Date: 9-9-86
Primary Role: Roving
Secondary Role: Chopping, drilling, crushing, flash-freezing, sampling, torturing
Specialties: Can detect motion, swears constantly, never afraid to initiate a staring contest, equipped with a gripping hand at ball-height, optional boombox and tape of "World Destruction."
Availability: On Hire (hire)
Average Customer Rating: (rate)
|Circumstance of Contract Liquidation:|
While patrolling the perimeter of the Imaginary Escapes Resort, FELL ROVER detected non-evil movement and sought to investigate. Arriving at the scene FELL ROVER found an abandoned zodiac boat and several SCUBA sets. Relying on his innate ability to track good, FELL ROVER located a six man UNFORCE commando team and a T.E.A.M. agent. Using a mixture of drills and lurching wheelies, FELL ROVER killed all six commandos. He cornered the T.E.A.M. agent and was about to drill through his core when the agent asked FELL ROVER if it was possible to "love hatred." This caused a logic core overflow and (more)
Simply put, if I had Johnny Manziel’s physical gifts, you better believe I would be there in the Weight Room, getting to bed early, doing whatever I had to do to be the best possible athlete I could be. I wouldn't be posting on social media about sucking titties. I wouldn't even look at a titty, buddy. I'd look at a titty and see two big footballs.
A real friend doesn't move until the middle of August, ensuring temperatures in the 90s and a humidity that turns boxers into moist balls of ruined cotton.
Expendable? You must be joking.
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