|Henchman Status Update (4 of 4)|
|The status of Tendermane has been changed from ACTIVE to HUGGED.|
|Name: Horsey, Lil' Baby (HUGGED)|
Codename(s): Tendermane, The Soft One, Pillow Kicks, Sturmfuhrer Cuddles
Join Date: 4-4-06
Primary Role: Wee Horse
Secondary Role: Prancing, cavorting, neighing, whinnying, baby carrot destruction, rolling (dust), rolling (mud), oat sense
Specialties: Heart warmification through the stimulated emission of adorableness, irresistible at all times.
Availability: On Hire (hire)
Average Customer Rating: (rate)
|Circumstance of Contract Liquidation:|
After unraveling the plot of the Imaginary Peninsula, where fantasies come true and priceless jewelry disappears, T.E.A.M. agents descended upon the secret fastness located beneath the cabana. The T.E.A.M. force quickly overwhelmed the defensive security measures with only a handful of laser cubings and trap door chutings. Tendermane bravely threw himself before the T.E.A.M. onslaught, forcing the T.E.A.M. agents to stop and feed him carrots, scratch behind his ears, and hug him. This allowed time for all Adverse Interests, LLC. upper management and overlords to escape in the reef tours submarines. Those employees left behind were detonated remotely or (more)
Yes, it's the perfect form for surviving a car crash. But it's also the perfect form for so much more, like surviving the trauma of reading any news headline in 2016.
It's just a little confusing, is all.
Featured articles and columns that don't fit anywhere else on Something Awful.