Henchman Status Update (4 of 4)
The status of Tendermane has been changed from ACTIVE to HUGGED.
Name: Horsey, Lil' Baby (HUGGED)
Codename(s): Tendermane, The Soft One, Pillow Kicks, Sturmfuhrer Cuddles
Join Date: 4-4-06
Primary Role: Wee Horse
Secondary Role: Prancing, cavorting, neighing, whinnying, baby carrot destruction, rolling (dust), rolling (mud), oat sense
Specialties: Heart warmification through the stimulated emission of adorableness, irresistible at all times.

Availability: On Hire (hire)
Contracted To: Adverse Interests, LLC.
Term of Hire: 30 days or confirmed combat hug

HUGGING PAYOUT: 25,000 USD to be paid to Zybourne Biomedical Global (gamete farm).

Average Customer Rating: (rate)

Customer Review:

Yessssss him is a cute pony

Reviewed by THE TECHNOGHOUL
Some complain about Tendermane, but those fooolllssss have no imagination. Tendermane is opportunities waiting to be exploited, the opening salvo or the ultimate failsafe. No T.E.A.M. agent or UNFORCE trooper can resist him. The huggggsss will flow. Then you will drop down from hiding and tear out the (more)

Circumstance of Contract Liquidation:

After unraveling the plot of the Imaginary Peninsula, where fantasies come true and priceless jewelry disappears, T.E.A.M. agents descended upon the secret fastness located beneath the cabana. The T.E.A.M. force quickly overwhelmed the defensive security measures with only a handful of laser cubings and trap door chutings. Tendermane bravely threw himself before the T.E.A.M. onslaught, forcing the T.E.A.M. agents to stop and feed him carrots, scratch behind his ears, and hug him. This allowed time for all Adverse Interests, LLC. upper management and overlords to escape in the reef tours submarines. Those employees left behind were detonated remotely or (more)

– Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons (@sexyfacts4u)

More Features / Articles

This Week on Something Awful...

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.