The No Shit Award for 2013:
Premise: You know you're in trouble when an article begins by citing a "fascinating Ross Douthat blog" and it doesn't mean fascinating in the sense of someone looking at a catalog of medical deformities might say "that was a fascinating scrotum face oozing pus." The rest of the article is a big "no shit, Sherlock" about Republicans liking Ronald Reagan.
The 2013 Thomas Friedman Award for Idiotic Globalism:
Premise: Matt Yglesias publishes article trumpeting Vertu, a maker of a $6,000 luxury android phone. He gets a raft of shit. Responds by posting a photograph he took on vacation in Hanoi of a couple having their wedding photo taken near a Vertu sign. Claims it means $6,000 smart phones are aspirational.
Premise: What might have been a trenchant idea, that copyright law is outdated and does nothing but leash creativity, is undermined by Matt Yglesias and his poo-filled head. His argument is based around the author who took over writing James Bond novels complaining that he has to please too many people, including Ian Flemming's estate, and it makes writing a James Bond book hard. Yglesias then points to Sherlock Holmes, a character no longer under copyright, and all the wonderful Sherlock Holmes stories not written by Arthur Conan Doyle. Because the ultimate creativity is writing fan fiction that never matches or surpasses the original work, and we need to get rid of copyright law so we can have more fan fiction. Thanks, bro. Really thought about that one.
One wizard thinks our President's magic control initiatives have gone too far.
Are we not allowed to be real parents anymore? We may have feared the CyborFreaks, but we damn well respected them and learned about boundaries.
Ron Paul spins in his chair, trying to grab his decorative antique musket but Freddy gets it first.
Featured articles and columns that don't fit anywhere else on Something Awful.