With my family established I picked out a house. Nothing too fancy for the newlyweds. Just a little two-bedroom with a reasonable mortgage and enough room for the family to grow.
You would think moving into a new home would give the happy couple plenty to think about, but they had grander aspirations.
The house came unfurnished, so I took a few minutes to give Duke and Fifa some decent furniture. I also added a touch of class to every room with some beautiful candelabras. Nothing says "class" quite like smoke streaks up your walls!
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Cons: causes bad nightmares. I used to have to eat beef until I passed out to have these kind of terrors, but this machine does it for me every time I fall asleep inside it.
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