With my family established I picked out a house. Nothing too fancy for the newlyweds. Just a little two-bedroom with a reasonable mortgage and enough room for the family to grow.
You would think moving into a new home would give the happy couple plenty to think about, but they had grander aspirations.
The house came unfurnished, so I took a few minutes to give Duke and Fifa some decent furniture. I also added a touch of class to every room with some beautiful candelabras. Nothing says "class" quite like smoke streaks up your walls!
Celebrate diversity and inclusiveness at your next protest by not calling Donald Trump a nasty little-hands pisspig bitch.
A true patriot has exactly seven t-shirts, with seven slight variations on a single phrase that tell one powerful story. This is that tale.
Featured articles and columns that don't fit anywhere else on Something Awful.