Happy Birthday, Meatbaby! You're almost ready to start mopping up all of the puddles the constantly-leaking faucets are making! School? Nah...
Hey, wait a second...why is Fifa all curled up like that? Why is that scary man standing over her?
Oh well, whatever!
Yay! Here lies Fifa, peperony and chease.
This nightmare is hardly a full plunge into the abyss of possibilities offered by The Sims 3. I have the utmost confidence in the ingenuity of the Internet to devise all new and terrible ways to torture Sims. In the meantime, I will continue my experiments.
Sleeping with AC is at this point a basic human right. But if you're one of the doomed souls forced to deal with global warming on a nightly basis, here's an hourly breakdown on how to get the most out of your inferno hellscape of a bedroom.
Some of the Internet's most veteran anatomy experts convened to discuss the stolen nude photos of Jennifer Lawrence and other beautiful celebrities.
We're spelunking through the movie catacombs this week. Join us, won't you?
Featured articles and columns that don't fit anywhere else on Something Awful.