Who wouldn't love to hew Jennifer's two in twain? Party of 5? More like party of 38! Or party on 38 if any macho male's dreams cummmmmm true. I am literally weeping right now looking at those things. My god, I would give up everything I own and everything I ever will own to touch and feel those big bazookas. I would indenture myself to her forever. Just let me tickle and touch those rowdy tooters. Jennifer, you'll love it!
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Cons: causes bad nightmares. I used to have to eat beef until I passed out to have these kind of terrors, but this machine does it for me every time I fall asleep inside it.
Featured articles and columns that don't fit anywhere else on Something Awful.