Who wouldn't love to hew Jennifer's two in twain? Party of 5? More like party of 38! Or party on 38 if any macho male's dreams cummmmmm true. I am literally weeping right now looking at those things. My god, I would give up everything I own and everything I ever will own to touch and feel those big bazookas. I would indenture myself to her forever. Just let me tickle and touch those rowdy tooters. Jennifer, you'll love it!
Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.
Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.
Ignore the hype. Find out how these games will likely go right or wrong.
Featured articles and columns that don't fit anywhere else on Something Awful.