Bend them like Beckham! Get it? Because some doctor has bent Victoria like her bawdy beau Brian Beckham into a pretzel of pulchritude sure to please every greasy go-getter from here to Honolulu. Men are lining up at the red carpet with their wrecking muscles out, ready to swoop and goop on those troops. Some of them can't even wrench tent, they're too busy crying. Little baby tears of a satisfied man, pleasured by Victoria's giant hooter extravaganza. This is truly one to put a score up on the board when strangers run up and try to have babies with her chest. Will it get pregnant? Double pregnant? You can certainly tell she wants it from dresses like this.
This Week on Something Awful...
Men's Hats Ranked From Most to Least Tainted
Finding the right hat can feel like walking through a minefield for guys. Did a murderer wear your hat? Was it ruined by bros? Are you just an idiot? Find out with our authoritative ranking of bad hats.
All the So-Called 'Blatant Eroticism' in My Stories Has a Valid, In-Universe Justification
The Amazonians value combat prowess and purity of spirit. By wrestling half naked, they pay homage to both virtues by displaying their battle-forged bodies while preserving as much modesty as their society deems necessary. The gelatin in which they wrestle is symbolic of the fluid nature of battle, a concept the Amazonians call ‘akgor-gra.’
Mission Air
Even the Armor of God won’t save you from flying missionaries, terrible banditos, or Tom Arnold!
Pop-Up Ads Throughout History!
SA takes a look back at what our ancestors from the dawn of civilization clicked on THEIR computers!
Sunless Sea
My time as a captain in Sunless Sea, plus a review of Homeworld Remastered Collection
About This Column
Featured articles and columns that don't fit anywhere else on Something Awful.
Previous Articles
- The 2009 Flour and Grain Expo Commercial!
- Tim Schafer Talks Brutal Legend
- A Week in the Life of The Sims 3
- Exclusive: Screen Shots from the Final Build of Duke Nukem Forever
- The First 100 Days of President Dick Cheney
