Bend them like Beckham! Get it? Because some doctor has bent Victoria like her bawdy beau Brian Beckham into a pretzel of pulchritude sure to please every greasy go-getter from here to Honolulu. Men are lining up at the red carpet with their wrecking muscles out, ready to swoop and goop on those troops. Some of them can't even wrench tent, they're too busy crying. Little baby tears of a satisfied man, pleasured by Victoria's giant hooter extravaganza. This is truly one to put a score up on the board when strangers run up and try to have babies with her chest. Will it get pregnant? Double pregnant? You can certainly tell she wants it from dresses like this.
Mothers, Danzig warned you in general terms about his nefarious intentions. Now find out what he specifically intends.
Makes baby look too appetizing. Also I have my thigh stuck in one and I can't get it off. It's so tight around the skin I can't cut it without risking injury. IT'S A LONG STORY AND IT'S NONE OF YOUR BEESWAX.
The darkest, most controversial game since Luigi's Mansion.
Featured articles and columns that don't fit anywhere else on Something Awful.