Unveiled at Gaydeaz, last month's LGBTQ maker technology con, garth will use smartphone cameras to "create an augmented reality ideaspace to provide real-time rating and commenting for pro-LGBTQ microbrews." Garth lead developer Chantilly 2.0 claims the app will "actualize ordering at gastropubs, brewpubs, and queer-friendly picnics."
"You would be surprised how many microbrews are not queer-friendly. Everyone should be able to make an informed decision when ordering a beer to go with their roasted bone marrow on artisan breads," said someone, who may not be related to garth, but who spoke authoritatively and was painted orange with a huge fake penis attached to their forehead.
Development has been slow for garth, owing mainly to several robberies in which the iPads on which the software was being programmed were stolen. A successful second round financing deal was agreed to in the bubble sweat lodge where everybody is anonymous behind animal masks. VC fund Maximus will be providing $8.5 million on the condition that future development will be done on computers with keyboards.
Ferguson's long arm of the law laments the latest cutback.
Simply put, if I had Johnny Manziel’s physical gifts, you better believe I would be there in the Weight Room, getting to bed early, doing whatever I had to do to be the best possible athlete I could be. I wouldn't be posting on social media about sucking titties. I wouldn't even look at a titty, buddy. I'd look at a titty and see two big footballs.
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