Unveiled at Gaydeaz, last month's LGBTQ maker technology con, garth will use smartphone cameras to "create an augmented reality ideaspace to provide real-time rating and commenting for pro-LGBTQ microbrews." Garth lead developer Chantilly 2.0 claims the app will "actualize ordering at gastropubs, brewpubs, and queer-friendly picnics."
"You would be surprised how many microbrews are not queer-friendly. Everyone should be able to make an informed decision when ordering a beer to go with their roasted bone marrow on artisan breads," said someone, who may not be related to garth, but who spoke authoritatively and was painted orange with a huge fake penis attached to their forehead.
Development has been slow for garth, owing mainly to several robberies in which the iPads on which the software was being programmed were stolen. A successful second round financing deal was agreed to in the bubble sweat lodge where everybody is anonymous behind animal masks. VC fund Maximus will be providing $8.5 million on the condition that future development will be done on computers with keyboards.
If you are 35 and you are not integrated into the Gigathrax then you are not ready to retire.
While designing this space, I imagined David Fincher being forced to recreate the music video for Nine Inch Nails' Closer in a haunted gas station bathroom.
My game is funded. Now I know everything.
Featured articles and columns that don't fit anywhere else on Something Awful.