Unveiled at Gaydeaz, last month's LGBTQ maker technology con, garth will use smartphone cameras to "create an augmented reality ideaspace to provide real-time rating and commenting for pro-LGBTQ microbrews." Garth lead developer Chantilly 2.0 claims the app will "actualize ordering at gastropubs, brewpubs, and queer-friendly picnics."
"You would be surprised how many microbrews are not queer-friendly. Everyone should be able to make an informed decision when ordering a beer to go with their roasted bone marrow on artisan breads," said someone, who may not be related to garth, but who spoke authoritatively and was painted orange with a huge fake penis attached to their forehead.
Development has been slow for garth, owing mainly to several robberies in which the iPads on which the software was being programmed were stolen. A successful second round financing deal was agreed to in the bubble sweat lodge where everybody is anonymous behind animal masks. VC fund Maximus will be providing $8.5 million on the condition that future development will be done on computers with keyboards.
Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.
Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.
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