In my case, I had only been in some game club meetings with her, so I didn't really know her that well, but she looked cute, and game club meetings gave me something to talk about, so I figured I'd give it a shot. Bear in mind that at the time I looked like a standard overweight nerd with glasses and I didn't even a car (she was actually in the middle of starting to drive me back to the Campus Dorms as I was asking her this.) so you don't have to be that good-looking for this to work:
Me: Do you have a boyfriend?Her: No.Me: Do you want a boyfriend?Her: Are you asking me out?Me: Yes.Her: Okay!
I was originally going to say "Do you want me as a boyfriend?" next, but she saw where I was going with the amazingly direct approach.
A large number of previous relation attempts ended in "I have a boyfriend." and "I'm not looking for a boyfriend." So, I figured I would get those problems out of the way with this approach, and it worked.
Actually, I'm sort of curious what other ladies would think of this approach. I was planning on using it repeatedly, but it ended up working on the first time, so I'm not actually sure if it is a good approach or I was just lucky. It does cut out the game playing though.
was at a LAN party and there was a girl who was literally gagging for it. All day whine whine whine she wanted to have sex. In the end I buckled and slept with her but didnt fuck.
In the morning she tries to give me a handjob but it's not working because i'm just not turned on at all.
In the end I just got out of bed and said "I'm going to play Quake 3, don't bother me for a while"
She was good looking too. The problem was her accent was a real turnoff for me.
well, theres this girl who's family is fairly close friends with my extended family so she sometimes shows up at family functions. She's had a crush on me since I was like 12.
About a year or so ago, near christmas time, we both happened to be at my cousins birthday party. She starts asking me if I know what she wants for christmas, and I jokingly replied "yea, some dick." She got all quiet and returned, "How did you know.." Fast forward a few weeks later and I picked her up, brought her back to my house and began preparations for the sex. I guess I should describe her a bit.. She's tall and wiry thin. Not attractive in anyway, but not really malformed either. A solid 6 on the 1-10 scale, but thats not really the problem.. the problem is that she has zero personality and no goals or aspirations or desire to do.. much of anything it seems. I couldn't get a conversation off the ground with dependable starters such as "what did you do today" or "what kind of music do you like." Anyway, after a few minutes of yes/no answers and trying to be romantic or whatever, I decided to just skip all the bullshit and get down to business. But for some reason, during the act it weighed on me that I had no interest in this girl, never did and never would. So I just stopped, mid thrust, and put my clothes back on. I didnt even take her home right away, I sat at my computer and read the forums while she sat behind me and watched TV.. I have DirecTV and I know she doesn't even have basic cable so I guess I was doing her a favor. I eventually drove her home and didn't answer her call the next day.
Still, after a few months I ran into her again and she was still trying to cozy up next to meWhy must I be cursed with this AMAZING penis?!
I have raised over $300 participating in quilting bees for the American Quilting Bee Society so I think I deserve at least seven minutes of your time.
Ernest Cline, writer of Ready Player One, shares his newest poem.
The Something Awful Forums are, by far, the greatest and most entertaining community on the internet. From the Comedy Goldmine to Photoshop Phriday, our forums are pretty much the lone island refusing to be engulfed by the sea of stupidity that is the internet. While sections like the Comedy Goldmine and Photoshop Phriday showcase the intentionally hilarious forum creations, we've failed to reveal the coin's flip side. The Great Goon Database is a depository of unintentionally amusing Something Awful Forum quotes demonstrating the darker side of SA. Special thanks to Goon "LittleJoe" for collecting and sorting these gems.