HUMAN HEAD IN A LARGE GLASS CASE
The perfect pet.
People who own a human head in a large glass case include:
Reasons to own a human head in a large glass case:
They're infinitely more fun than owning a bird.
You don't have to feed it, unlike fish.
It smells better than a ferret, and won't bite you when provoking it to bite you.
Much friendlier than a cat.
More intelligent than a dog.
It will not attempt to take over the Earth.
As you can plainly see, the human head in a large glass case, while technically not being a pet, is by far the superior choice for any pet owner. I would advise everybody out there to rush to their nearest pet store or church, demanding to be sold a human head in a large glass case. If they claim they don't sell them, kindly remind the owner that you have an empty glass case at home... and he has a human head.
What if you were a cop and the Skittle was mentally disturbed and wanted to be eaten?
DOPPELGANGER NEEDED - To minimize stress to my dog, I'm looking for somebody who is identical to me to take over ownership. Must also be able to fool my wife. Call to set up interview. 555-8252
I'll never forgive these giant alien insects! I'm trying!
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