HUMAN HEAD IN A LARGE GLASS CASE
The perfect pet.
People who own a human head in a large glass case include:
Reasons to own a human head in a large glass case:
They're infinitely more fun than owning a bird.
You don't have to feed it, unlike fish.
It smells better than a ferret, and won't bite you when provoking it to bite you.
Much friendlier than a cat.
More intelligent than a dog.
It will not attempt to take over the Earth.
As you can plainly see, the human head in a large glass case, while technically not being a pet, is by far the superior choice for any pet owner. I would advise everybody out there to rush to their nearest pet store or church, demanding to be sold a human head in a large glass case. If they claim they don't sell them, kindly remind the owner that you have an empty glass case at home... and he has a human head.
TOTAL WRECK - crazy-eyed hound is covered in cobwebs, has a vespiary on back, graffiti on side and savage thirst for boat fuel. Frankly, I'm in over my head. He's in room 115 at Motel 6, yours free. 555-2851
Yes, it's the perfect form for surviving a car crash. But it's also the perfect form for so much more, like surviving the trauma of reading any news headline in 2016.
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