HUMAN HEAD IN A LARGE GLASS CASE
The perfect pet.
People who own a human head in a large glass case include:
Reasons to own a human head in a large glass case:
They're infinitely more fun than owning a bird.
You don't have to feed it, unlike fish.
It smells better than a ferret, and won't bite you when provoking it to bite you.
Much friendlier than a cat.
More intelligent than a dog.
It will not attempt to take over the Earth.
As you can plainly see, the human head in a large glass case, while technically not being a pet, is by far the superior choice for any pet owner. I would advise everybody out there to rush to their nearest pet store or church, demanding to be sold a human head in a large glass case. If they claim they don't sell them, kindly remind the owner that you have an empty glass case at home... and he has a human head.
Maria Mitchell is shown holding a telescope to each eye, using them to ogle passing hunks on the street below. OOOGA! Her tongue rolls out like a firehose, her eyes comically bulging through the ends of the telescopes.
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