HUMAN HEAD IN A LARGE GLASS CASE
The perfect pet.
People who own a human head in a large glass case include:
Reasons to own a human head in a large glass case:
They're infinitely more fun than owning a bird.
You don't have to feed it, unlike fish.
It smells better than a ferret, and won't bite you when provoking it to bite you.
Much friendlier than a cat.
More intelligent than a dog.
It will not attempt to take over the Earth.
As you can plainly see, the human head in a large glass case, while technically not being a pet, is by far the superior choice for any pet owner. I would advise everybody out there to rush to their nearest pet store or church, demanding to be sold a human head in a large glass case. If they claim they don't sell them, kindly remind the owner that you have an empty glass case at home... and he has a human head.
The valor pigs have been looking over your uniform and trying to find fault. Time to show them how army is done!
Video games make it socially acceptable to point at Jane
Something Awful Guides can help you, the Internet reader, make the most out of your life and just might possibly end up getting you incapacitated or killed!