Lowtax - Thats great James, where you from?
Jimbo - Phoenix, Arizona. And yourself?
Lowtax - Hold the phones there Ken, the info on your page says Atlanta. You trying to pull the wool over my eyes, James?
Jimbo - He he, no, I live in Atlanta now.
Lowtax - You're not playing mind games with me, are you?
Jimbo - No, I don't do tricks like that.
Lowtax - Tricks? Like card tricks and shit? You dont do em? I used to be a magician you know.
Jimbo - My brother can do some magic.
Lowtax - That's swell, Jim. I was an ace magician back in the day. I was wowing crowds left and right, big audiences, BIG AUDIENCES.
Jimbo - No kidding?
Lowtax - No kidding, you crazy man. I did it part time for college. I was the best.
Lowtax - They called me "Incredible Iriving". I pulled shit outta hats that you wouldn't believe.
Jimbo - Where'd you go to college?
Lowtax - that's none of your business, Jimmy. What I'm saying is that I was the best damn magician those kids had ever seen.
Lowtax - I did crazy kinds of card tricks, made shit disappear, the whole nine yards.
Jimbo - Like what?
Lowtax - Ahh, you know, some kids come up on bikes, and I says "hey kids, want to see a trick?" and I made their bikes disappear and they're all saying how cool it was and shit, and then they're like "can we have our bikes back now?" and I just sit there and laugh at them.
Jimbo - Where'd there bikes go?
Lowtax - To tell you the truth, Ken, I have no clue. It's magic, you know?
Lowtax - So how about them Chiefs, huh?
Jimbo - I'm getting real excited this year...!
Lowtax - WOAH, hold on there a minute Jimbo, I just wanna talk about the Chiefs, not about any crazy sex stuff. I'm not into that shit, okay?
Jimbo - What do you mean?
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Cons: causes bad nightmares. I used to have to eat beef until I passed out to have these kind of terrors, but this machine does it for me every time I fall asleep inside it.
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