Lowtax - Thats great James, where you from?
Jimbo - Phoenix, Arizona. And yourself?
Lowtax - Hold the phones there Ken, the info on your page says Atlanta. You trying to pull the wool over my eyes, James?
Jimbo - He he, no, I live in Atlanta now.
Lowtax - You're not playing mind games with me, are you?
Jimbo - No, I don't do tricks like that.
Lowtax - Tricks? Like card tricks and shit? You dont do em? I used to be a magician you know.
Jimbo - My brother can do some magic.
Lowtax - That's swell, Jim. I was an ace magician back in the day. I was wowing crowds left and right, big audiences, BIG AUDIENCES.
Jimbo - No kidding?
Lowtax - No kidding, you crazy man. I did it part time for college. I was the best.
Lowtax - They called me "Incredible Iriving". I pulled shit outta hats that you wouldn't believe.
Jimbo - Where'd you go to college?
Lowtax - that's none of your business, Jimmy. What I'm saying is that I was the best damn magician those kids had ever seen.
Lowtax - I did crazy kinds of card tricks, made shit disappear, the whole nine yards.
Jimbo - Like what?
Lowtax - Ahh, you know, some kids come up on bikes, and I says "hey kids, want to see a trick?" and I made their bikes disappear and they're all saying how cool it was and shit, and then they're like "can we have our bikes back now?" and I just sit there and laugh at them.
Jimbo - Where'd there bikes go?
Lowtax - To tell you the truth, Ken, I have no clue. It's magic, you know?
Lowtax - So how about them Chiefs, huh?
Jimbo - I'm getting real excited this year...!
Lowtax - WOAH, hold on there a minute Jimbo, I just wanna talk about the Chiefs, not about any crazy sex stuff. I'm not into that shit, okay?
Jimbo - What do you mean?
Your lair. Maybe you lure victims to it, maybe you hide in it between killings, or maybe you haunt it 24/7 because you’re tragically confined by a curse. Whatever the situation, for most of us monsters, a living/un-living space is an important part of our identities. In this column, Monstergeddon award winners share their lair tips and techniques!
Works great on my child, who hasn't barked at all for as long as she's worn the apparatus. When she turns three, we will remove it for a trial period.
The famed gonzo otaku journalist writes about the death of gaming culture in 2014.
Try not to break your console while I try not to break my cyber brain.
Our Something Awful ICQ pranks target the worst and most idiotic folks on the Internet. Believe it or not, these ICQ pranks are all - unfortunately - real.