Lowtax - Shit, I guess I read your last message wrong, sorry there. I just get freaked out over this Internet shit, understand? I don't have any clue how this shit works.
Jimbo - Heh he, I understand. We are all newbies at once!
Lowtax - Whatever you say, Jimmy. All I know is that theres a bunch of freaky shit all over the Internet, and I dont want a part of that crap, got me? I'm not interested in cybering with you, so don't think about it.
Jimbo - Heh. I'm married.
Lowtax - To a woman?
Jimbo - Yup. Sweetheart from school.
Lowtax - What school you go to?
Jimbo - MU
Lowtax - So how about them Chiefs?
Jimbo - Just heard they signed Hall!
Lowtax - Jason Hall?
Jimbo - No, Dante Hall. Who's Jason Hall?
Lowtax - Big fellah, weighs about 450. Size of a fucking bus. I don't know where the hell he went to school. He's a fucking nut.
Jimbo - What position?
Lowtax - I dont know, linebacker or something. He had the nickname, "Bitch Buster". Real psycho. I think he went to KU.
Jimbo - Ha ha, probably!!!
Lowtax - What's that supposed to mean?
Jimbo - I mean he sounds like somebody they'd let into there.
Lowtax - You got that right there, Jimmy.
Lowtax - James, I gotta get the fuck off the computer, my wife's bird is flying around the place like a little fucking freak and I gotta catch it before it shits all over the counter.
Jimbo - Good luck!
Lowtax - Okay Jimbo.
The first phase of The Olive Garden's cyber rollout will introduce their Neverending Pneumatic Pasta Tube. This works on the same principal as bank drive-thru deposit tubes, but with unfrozen linguini and spaghetti.
Do you remember the crazy clothes and hair of the 1990s? Do you remember Crystal Pepsi and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? Do you remember where you hid the box your mother gave you?
Were you enjoying your day? STOP! There is outrageous crap going on you need to know about!
Our Something Awful ICQ pranks target the worst and most idiotic folks on the Internet. Believe it or not, these ICQ pranks are all - unfortunately - real.