Lowtax - Shit, I guess I read your last message wrong, sorry there. I just get freaked out over this Internet shit, understand? I don't have any clue how this shit works.
Jimbo - Heh he, I understand. We are all newbies at once!
Lowtax - Whatever you say, Jimmy. All I know is that theres a bunch of freaky shit all over the Internet, and I dont want a part of that crap, got me? I'm not interested in cybering with you, so don't think about it.
Jimbo - Heh. I'm married.
Lowtax - To a woman?
Jimbo - Yup. Sweetheart from school.
Lowtax - What school you go to?
Jimbo - MU
Lowtax - So how about them Chiefs?
Jimbo - Just heard they signed Hall!
Lowtax - Jason Hall?
Jimbo - No, Dante Hall. Who's Jason Hall?
Lowtax - Big fellah, weighs about 450. Size of a fucking bus. I don't know where the hell he went to school. He's a fucking nut.
Jimbo - What position?
Lowtax - I dont know, linebacker or something. He had the nickname, "Bitch Buster". Real psycho. I think he went to KU.
Jimbo - Ha ha, probably!!!
Lowtax - What's that supposed to mean?
Jimbo - I mean he sounds like somebody they'd let into there.
Lowtax - You got that right there, Jimmy.
Lowtax - James, I gotta get the fuck off the computer, my wife's bird is flying around the place like a little fucking freak and I gotta catch it before it shits all over the counter.
Jimbo - Good luck!
Lowtax - Okay Jimbo.
And you thought women had one-dimensional script intros that treated them like sex objects. Ewoks have it even worse.
No one seems to like the new Doom box art. But it's still the same old Doom Guy under that space marine helmet. Right?
Our Something Awful ICQ pranks target the worst and most idiotic folks on the Internet. Believe it or not, these ICQ pranks are all - unfortunately - real.