Lowtax - Shit, I guess I read your last message wrong, sorry there. I just get freaked out over this Internet shit, understand? I don't have any clue how this shit works.
Jimbo - Heh he, I understand. We are all newbies at once!
Lowtax - Whatever you say, Jimmy. All I know is that theres a bunch of freaky shit all over the Internet, and I dont want a part of that crap, got me? I'm not interested in cybering with you, so don't think about it.
Jimbo - Heh. I'm married.
Lowtax - To a woman?
Jimbo - Yup. Sweetheart from school.
Lowtax - What school you go to?
Jimbo - MU
Lowtax - So how about them Chiefs?
Jimbo - Just heard they signed Hall!
Lowtax - Jason Hall?
Jimbo - No, Dante Hall. Who's Jason Hall?
Lowtax - Big fellah, weighs about 450. Size of a fucking bus. I don't know where the hell he went to school. He's a fucking nut.
Jimbo - What position?
Lowtax - I dont know, linebacker or something. He had the nickname, "Bitch Buster". Real psycho. I think he went to KU.
Jimbo - Ha ha, probably!!!
Lowtax - What's that supposed to mean?
Jimbo - I mean he sounds like somebody they'd let into there.
Lowtax - You got that right there, Jimmy.
Lowtax - James, I gotta get the fuck off the computer, my wife's bird is flying around the place like a little fucking freak and I gotta catch it before it shits all over the counter.
Jimbo - Good luck!
Lowtax - Okay Jimbo.
Maria Mitchell is shown holding a telescope to each eye, using them to ogle passing hunks on the street below. OOOGA! Her tongue rolls out like a firehose, her eyes comically bulging through the ends of the telescopes.
The Internet experience of 2014 has been condensed into a single article for your convenience.
Our Something Awful ICQ pranks target the worst and most idiotic folks on the Internet. Believe it or not, these ICQ pranks are all - unfortunately - real.