Lowtax - Heya Jimmy, how they hangin?
Jimbo - Hi! How are you?
Lowtax - That's great Jimmy, but I got a big problem here. Last night, I started throwing stuff to kill that damn bird, and I finally nailed the fucker with an encyclopedia. Crushed it like a grape. The problem is, my wife's all fucking nuts now, and she's still crying and screaming. Can you do me a big fuckin favor and call her up and make her stop crying?
Jimbo - What?
Lowtax - Can you call her and ask her to stop crying or something? She's a fucking wreck right now, crying like a fucking nutcase. I can't get her to stop, and its driving me fucking nuts.
Jimbo - Ummm... okay. What's your phone number?
Lowtax - (PHONE NUMBER EDITED OUT)
Jimbo - Okay, brb
(Jimbo actually called. Here is the recorded phone conversation (237 k). I had taped the voices on this end before he called, and just pressed the "play" button when his call came through. Prank only lasts 19 seconds, because I had only recorded 19 seconds of weeping / yelling, and the guy was silent the entire time. I don't blame him.)
Lowtax - God dammit, that didn't do any fucking good at all! You're a real shitty psychologist, Jimmy.
Jimbo - I'm not a psychologist!
Lowtax - YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT YOU'RE NOT, JIMBO!!!
Lowtax - Listen Ken, I gotta fucking go. She's started to break shit and throw herself all over the place like a damned mental patient. I'll talk to you later pal.
Jimbo - Good luck. Sorry to hear about all this. ICQ me when she;s calmed down. : (
Lowtax - Thanks Jimmy.
The singer dove off the stage and crowd surfed in a sort of reverse funeral procession where the person being carried is the only one truly alive. Touching him I felt religious ecstasy and started speaking in tongues and requesting songs that didn't exist.
There's no easy way to put this, so I'll tell it like it is. Bouillon is died. He went missing before the weekend and yesterday I found his skeletonized remains at the bottom of the #3 soup vat during one of my swims. I thought the cream of mushroom soup had an especially nourishing taste, and a lot more clumps of fur and skin than usual.
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