Lowtax - Heya Jimmy, how they hangin?
Jimbo - Hi! How are you?
Lowtax - That's great Jimmy, but I got a big problem here. Last night, I started throwing stuff to kill that damn bird, and I finally nailed the fucker with an encyclopedia. Crushed it like a grape. The problem is, my wife's all fucking nuts now, and she's still crying and screaming. Can you do me a big fuckin favor and call her up and make her stop crying?
Jimbo - What?
Lowtax - Can you call her and ask her to stop crying or something? She's a fucking wreck right now, crying like a fucking nutcase. I can't get her to stop, and its driving me fucking nuts.
Jimbo - Ummm... okay. What's your phone number?
Lowtax - (PHONE NUMBER EDITED OUT)
Jimbo - Okay, brb
(Jimbo actually called. Here is the recorded phone conversation (237 k). I had taped the voices on this end before he called, and just pressed the "play" button when his call came through. Prank only lasts 19 seconds, because I had only recorded 19 seconds of weeping / yelling, and the guy was silent the entire time. I don't blame him.)
Lowtax - God dammit, that didn't do any fucking good at all! You're a real shitty psychologist, Jimmy.
Jimbo - I'm not a psychologist!
Lowtax - YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT YOU'RE NOT, JIMBO!!!
Lowtax - Listen Ken, I gotta fucking go. She's started to break shit and throw herself all over the place like a damned mental patient. I'll talk to you later pal.
Jimbo - Good luck. Sorry to hear about all this. ICQ me when she;s calmed down. : (
Lowtax - Thanks Jimmy.
Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.
Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.
Ignore the hype. Find out how these games will likely go right or wrong.
Our Something Awful ICQ pranks target the worst and most idiotic folks on the Internet. Believe it or not, these ICQ pranks are all - unfortunately - real.