Lowtax - Heya Jimmy, how they hangin?
Jimbo - Hi! How are you?
Lowtax - That's great Jimmy, but I got a big problem here. Last night, I started throwing stuff to kill that damn bird, and I finally nailed the fucker with an encyclopedia. Crushed it like a grape. The problem is, my wife's all fucking nuts now, and she's still crying and screaming. Can you do me a big fuckin favor and call her up and make her stop crying?
Jimbo - What?
Lowtax - Can you call her and ask her to stop crying or something? She's a fucking wreck right now, crying like a fucking nutcase. I can't get her to stop, and its driving me fucking nuts.
Jimbo - Ummm... okay. What's your phone number?
Lowtax - (PHONE NUMBER EDITED OUT)
Jimbo - Okay, brb
(Jimbo actually called. Here is the recorded phone conversation (237 k). I had taped the voices on this end before he called, and just pressed the "play" button when his call came through. Prank only lasts 19 seconds, because I had only recorded 19 seconds of weeping / yelling, and the guy was silent the entire time. I don't blame him.)
Lowtax - God dammit, that didn't do any fucking good at all! You're a real shitty psychologist, Jimmy.
Jimbo - I'm not a psychologist!
Lowtax - YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT YOU'RE NOT, JIMBO!!!
Lowtax - Listen Ken, I gotta fucking go. She's started to break shit and throw herself all over the place like a damned mental patient. I'll talk to you later pal.
Jimbo - Good luck. Sorry to hear about all this. ICQ me when she;s calmed down. : (
Lowtax - Thanks Jimmy.
I was betrayed by the bernio bros, the cougars, and this guy from back page I hired to keep me from jumping out a window at the DNC.
TOTAL WRECK - crazy-eyed hound is covered in cobwebs, has a vespiary on back, graffiti on side and savage thirst for boat fuel. Frankly, I'm in over my head. He's in room 115 at Motel 6, yours free. 555-2851
Our Something Awful ICQ pranks target the worst and most idiotic folks on the Internet. Believe it or not, these ICQ pranks are all - unfortunately - real.