(day 5)

Lowtax - Heya Jimmy, how they hangin?

Jimbo - Hi! How are you?

Lowtax - That's great Jimmy, but I got a big problem here. Last night, I started throwing stuff to kill that damn bird, and I finally nailed the fucker with an encyclopedia. Crushed it like a grape. The problem is, my wife's all fucking nuts now, and she's still crying and screaming. Can you do me a big fuckin favor and call her up and make her stop crying?

Jimbo - What?

Lowtax - Can you call her and ask her to stop crying or something? She's a fucking wreck right now, crying like a fucking nutcase. I can't get her to stop, and its driving me fucking nuts.

Jimbo - Ummm... okay. What's your phone number?

Lowtax - (PHONE NUMBER EDITED OUT)

Jimbo - Okay, brb

(Jimbo actually called. Here is the recorded phone conversation (237 k). I had taped the voices on this end before he called, and just pressed the "play" button when his call came through. Prank only lasts 19 seconds, because I had only recorded 19 seconds of weeping / yelling, and the guy was silent the entire time. I don't blame him.)

Lowtax - God dammit, that didn't do any fucking good at all! You're a real shitty psychologist, Jimmy.

Jimbo - I'm not a psychologist!

Lowtax - YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT YOU'RE NOT, JIMBO!!!

Lowtax - Listen Ken, I gotta fucking go. She's started to break shit and throw herself all over the place like a damned mental patient. I'll talk to you later pal.

Jimbo - Good luck. Sorry to hear about all this. ICQ me when she;s calmed down. : (

Lowtax - Thanks Jimmy.

– Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka (@lowtax)

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Our Something Awful ICQ pranks target the worst and most idiotic folks on the Internet. Believe it or not, these ICQ pranks are all - unfortunately - real.

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