Around nine or ten months ago, Rob passed the MMO Roulette off to me and Lowtax somehow thought I wrote well enough to give me a chance. For some reason I am still here and my legacy has been fortified with my immortalization as an NPC in a crappy MMO. In fact, it was the very first crappy MMO I ever reviewed and I am delighted that I pissed off the creators of Gekkeiju Online so much that I now have an NPC named after me.
I have received various emails since I started writing for Something Awful and though I cherish them all, one sent to me by Sergio has propelled itself to the top. The email was really long so here is the important part:
[...] A few minutes of killing "sukmywang" later, I decided I really needed to go on and search a greater adventure. I headed towards to where the oh so dreaded ogre captain was supposed to inhabit when I saw -it-. Scuttling around the camp was a level 1 NPC called Khad. Yeah. Mousing over it would display a text that said something along the lines of "the awful n00bie is the orcs sex slave". That's when I decided it was enough "fun" for the day and proceeded to close and kick the piece of crap's ass out of my computer.
Wow, I guess you must have caused a very good impression to have an NPC in your name. In WoW (and I guess you already know that) such a monumental effort by the programmers/developers is only awarded to either rock bands, dying/dead players or passed away developers.
Thrilled at this news, I immediately posted the email on our forums and within the hour, Kamoc posted various screen shots in game to confirm that I had indeed been added as a permanent NPC to Gekkeiju Online.
This is exactly what I look like!
I have been known to have sex with orcs but I wouldn't call it slavery.
I do have an ass crack! My NPC counterpart is dead on! The resemblance is uncanny!
I am more than honored that I now have an NPC named after me in a crappy MMO and this is the best thing that has ever come out of writing the MMO Roulette so far!
Hows about you, me, and five uncomfortable minutes in my basement apartment next to the dusty Christmas tree that's still up from my last visit with my estranged children.
The Upper Kitchen Cabinet Where Your Roommate Keeps His Food: You’ll 'need the footstool' to reach your roommate’s 'fine selection' of 'stale cereal,' but he'll never notice if 'only a little is missing from each box.' Feel less guilty by reminding yourself that Jeff 'acts weird around your girlfriend,' and always 'asks about her.' What a 'creep.'
This ain't your daddy's globe...! .... or is it?!
"Free" MMORPGs have grown in popularity to the point of supersaturation. How on Earth can one person possibly play them all and determine the best platform for painfully long level grinding, illiterate online communities, and fatal bugs? MMO Roulette examines a different online "free" role playing game every other week, providing you the lowdown on each. Every chamber is loaded when you play MMO Roulette.