Livestock: moof i think we need a system
Moof: what kind of system
Livestock: well let's say you're online and getting busy and don't want to be interrupted
Livestock: there ought to be some way you can let me know without letting me know! know what I mean?
Livestock: and likewise for me!!
Moof: i will put a sock on my door okay
Livestock: but how will i see
Livestock: what if you hung a sock on a st bernard and sent it on the long journey from arizona to washington state to let me know?
Moof: i will do that
Moof: i will put the sock on its nose
Livestock: okay and i will put a bonnet on the dog to let you know i'm getting busy
Moof: so if i send the dog back with no sock
Moof: then it is fine to talk
Livestock: yes of course
Moof: same if i get the dog with no bonnet
Livestock: and if the dog returns with no bonnet
Livestock: i'm not getting busy
Moof: it is flawless
Livestock: there's just one problem
Livestock: what if the dogs get lost
Moof: like vincent do you mean
Livestock: no i mean what if they get lost on the way and so they never show up in time to deliver the message
Livestock: that would cause the system to fail
Livestock: or if somebody removes the sock or bonnet or they get attacked by bears
Moof: the saint bernards will prevail
Livestock: we should give them guns
Moof: yes just in case
Moof: and landmines
Livestock: we should train them to kill without mercy or hesitation
Moof: they are saint bernards they cannot be trained but will only follow the righteous path
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Moof and Livestock discuss life, love, human nature, and all the most important issues affecting humanity.