Livestock: moof i think we need a system
Moof: what kind of system
Livestock: well let's say you're online and getting busy and don't want to be interrupted
Livestock: there ought to be some way you can let me know without letting me know! know what I mean?
Livestock: and likewise for me!!
Moof: i will put a sock on my door okay
Livestock: but how will i see
Livestock: what if you hung a sock on a st bernard and sent it on the long journey from arizona to washington state to let me know?
Moof: i will do that
Moof: i will put the sock on its nose
Livestock: okay and i will put a bonnet on the dog to let you know i'm getting busy
Moof: so if i send the dog back with no sock
Moof: then it is fine to talk
Livestock: yes of course
Moof: same if i get the dog with no bonnet
Livestock: and if the dog returns with no bonnet
Livestock: i'm not getting busy
Moof: it is flawless
Livestock: there's just one problem
Livestock: what if the dogs get lost
Moof: like vincent do you mean
Livestock: no i mean what if they get lost on the way and so they never show up in time to deliver the message
Livestock: that would cause the system to fail
Livestock: or if somebody removes the sock or bonnet or they get attacked by bears
Moof: the saint bernards will prevail
Livestock: we should give them guns
Moof: yes just in case
Moof: and landmines
Livestock: we should train them to kill without mercy or hesitation
Moof: they are saint bernards they cannot be trained but will only follow the righteous path
The CEO of Lobstero, makers of the expensive home Lobster System, responds to recent unfavorable headlines about hand-squeezing a lobster out of one of the company's Lobster Packs.
Should you call someone a Nazi? The answer will surprise you.
Moof and Livestock discuss life, love, human nature, and all the most important issues affecting humanity.