Livestock: moof i think we need a system
Moof: what kind of system
Livestock: well let's say you're online and getting busy and don't want to be interrupted
Livestock: there ought to be some way you can let me know without letting me know! know what I mean?
Livestock: and likewise for me!!
Moof: i will put a sock on my door okay
Livestock: but how will i see
Livestock: what if you hung a sock on a st bernard and sent it on the long journey from arizona to washington state to let me know?
Moof: i will do that
Moof: i will put the sock on its nose
Livestock: okay and i will put a bonnet on the dog to let you know i'm getting busy
Moof: so if i send the dog back with no sock
Moof: then it is fine to talk
Livestock: yes of course
Moof: same if i get the dog with no bonnet
Livestock: and if the dog returns with no bonnet
Livestock: i'm not getting busy
Moof: it is flawless
Livestock: there's just one problem
Livestock: what if the dogs get lost
Moof: like vincent do you mean
Livestock: no i mean what if they get lost on the way and so they never show up in time to deliver the message
Livestock: that would cause the system to fail
Livestock: or if somebody removes the sock or bonnet or they get attacked by bears
Moof: the saint bernards will prevail
Livestock: we should give them guns
Moof: yes just in case
Moof: and landmines
Livestock: we should train them to kill without mercy or hesitation
Moof: they are saint bernards they cannot be trained but will only follow the righteous path
It's true. Grimace is human. God help us, we did our best for him.
Your lair. Maybe you lure victims to it, maybe you hide in it between killings, or maybe you haunt it 24/7 because you’re tragically confined by a curse. Whatever the situation, for most of us monsters, a living/un-living space is an important part of our identities. In this column, Monstergeddon award winners share their lair tips and techniques!
The famed gonzo otaku journalist writes about the death of gaming culture in 2014.
Try not to break your console while I try not to break my cyber brain.
Moof and Livestock discuss life, love, human nature, and all the most important issues affecting humanity.