Another Saturday, another episode of everybody's favorite...
...Showcasing the most exciting and thrilling events which take place in the e/n community! Note to all those unfamiliar with the e/n scene: the term "e/n" stands for "everything/nothing", and encompasses a wide range of sites that, from what I can tell, must adhere to the following rules:
1) News must be updated at least 50 times per hour,
2) News must NEVER contain anything even remotely interesting to anybody but the webmaster and his two friends,
3) There must be a rant between each news item about how the webmaster hates racism or stereotypes or preppy kids or whatever,
4) Homepage must take 500 minutes to load thanks to all their neat little pictures and "wacky" photos of dead animals,
5) Under no circumstances should any real content be presented except for ripped movies or mp3s.
With that out of the way, let's peer into the e/n scene for this week!
Think Elite.net - Although the site claims to be "Your #1 Entertainment Resource", I am at a loss to explain how anybody who doesn't change their car oil via oral siphoning would find this site remotely entertaining in any aspect of the word. Oh wait, it's an e/n site, that's the only excuse they need to be critically boring.it's a friday, wee! but i even get school off today so yesterday was kind of a Friday the main reason is - the state fair. so you know good and well what i'll be doing today. mwahahahah. eating elephant ears till i hurl. anyways, if you look at teh date and time of this post, you will notice that i have a serious problem - i can't sleep in. its almost 8:45 in the morning, and i'm awake, on a day that i don't have school, and i can't get back to sleep. The only good part is that i get to see jerry springer.
I can't wait until tomorrow's news post entitled, "I saw my real parents and their transsexual lovers on yesterday's Jerry Springer."
Three and one half damaged brains.
Digital Remedy - Yo ho ho, I spy "excitement" on the e/n seas!i removed mikes profile from the site, he never posts so i doubt he would object, adrian is MIA and i havent heard from him in 3 days now, no big deal, im used to that i got my car working today, got a new battery so thats good i guess, still havent got my aim back, so you can contact me via the aim "explicitives" until further notice
from now on im typing like that and im not ever using periods, just commas, and i will keep you updated, on the, status, of all the people who, write, for, so,me,thing , aw, ful, every day, a,n,d then, i will, b, u ,y a gun, and kill my, self,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Three damaged brains.
Caken.com - The two budding trailer park models have redesigned their Godawful site! WITH FRAMES! Yes, the Caken kids have bravely gone where no Jeff K. has gone before!Heya, hope you like the new look here at caken. Yah I did the frames all by my self, arnt I something special?? anyway enjoy the look ---krystal
That was almost a record there! Nearly TWO consecutive sentences without a spelling error! Unfortunately, the Caken kids regress to their original CHUD-like intelligence and have to screw it all up. Tune in next week when we highlight all the things the Caken kids learned in school (ie, "how to smoke in the bathroom").
FIVE damaged brains.
Blue Sunday - Watching an e/n site grow from nothing and evolve into a blossoming flower nestled between the teats of The Markside is like... uh... watching something grow into a blossoming flower and be nestled in between the teats of The Markside.Hello, this is the first in a number of updates. I'm Pat, you're friendly neighborhood webmaster. Along with my sidekick Tierney, we shall entertain, shock, amuse and flash you. Well, Tierney will take care of the flashing. I hope you enjoy Blue Sunday, because I gave up my comic book site for it.
Between that update and the latest one begging for hosting from The Markside, there's a total of two news updates on this page. Not a very good start for an e/n page, but the poetry more than makes up for it.
Two damaged brains.
The Pimp Shack - It is funny because referencing pimps and the act of pimping is humorous! Let us partake in laughter!
Nothing is going right. I was supposed to go to Boston on Saturday just to hang out and stuff by myself. At first my mom said yes. Then she changed her mind and said that I could either take my sister and go to Orlando to see the grandparents or I wouldn't go anywhere at all. So I said I'm not going at all. What a waste of a lovely three-day weekend.
Anyway - there should be a new poll up later this evening - We're gonna have a special one this time. You guyz will be choosing which staff member you like the best, and the one with the least votes gets kicked off thie site! (let's kill Hollywood...). Be prepared to ruin someone's week.
Where did the laughter go? Oh laughter, why have you forsaken us?
Three damaged brains.
TOTAL WRECK - crazy-eyed hound is covered in cobwebs, has a vespiary on back, graffiti on side and savage thirst for boat fuel. Frankly, I'm in over my head. He's in room 115 at Motel 6, yours free. 555-2851
Yes, it's the perfect form for surviving a car crash. But it's also the perfect form for so much more, like surviving the trauma of reading any news headline in 2016.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.