Broadcast TV and send out the mail insert to all constumers that we have a special deal courtesy of American food cabal PIZZA HUT. Each man and woman live out a fantasy of taste from Pizza Hut with best pizza on menu. All FREE. Coupon covered carrot, tartar sauce, aspic, crawler cheese, bees, sea breeze flavor, ICCCCE, The Rondo, Bob Sapp Fierce Delights, Wintermint, and number one Honshu pizza LOS BULLY.
Truth was all pizza is false pizza. No bottom. Ha ha ha! Got thee!
PREVIOUS FIVE YEARS: Return of MISTER RITTER
Beloved TV hero MISTER RITTER has died of blood impact to cardiovascular nexus. His legend lives on in TVTOKYO 25. All day marathon to celebrate him and usage of computer technology to digitize new information of MISTER RITTER. Computer cannot control bleeding so he is back and is everyone but he dies again and again as quickly as computer can conjure his ghost force. All the best shoes are back, wear them in torment MISTER RITTER. Ha ha ha.
Odd circumstance follow. Even when computer is unplugged on SECOND APRIL it is still conjuring MISTER RITTER. No energy and still he fights on! What a hero! What a insidious beast that was!
"Really, Holmes!" I dropped into my seat, shocked. "You are remarkably tall! What are you, six foot six? Six foot eight?"
As the 19th century diver approaches a giant clam, a flash of brilliant golden light flares from within the shell. I emerge in a swirl of bubbles and do the timeless universal underwater hand signals for the following: ZODIAC KILLER, KKK, BLOOD OF YOUTH
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.