Word is, Deadwood star McShane still drives this ugly auto with a boot full of ants and a smashed coat wedged under the spare. Stink lines added because we know it smells like someone dropped a cheese and pickle sandwich down into the shifter. Just give it up already, mate. Drive it into a ditch or set fire to it or something.
He is not fooling anyone with this car. Hey, Michael, we know you're spending all your dough from The Game on cancer pills, but next time spring for a real mechanic. It's just upsetting to see this in his driveway next to Catherine Zeta Jones's immaculate 2008 Mercedes.
TOTAL WRECK - crazy-eyed hound is covered in cobwebs, has a vespiary on back, graffiti on side and savage thirst for boat fuel. Frankly, I'm in over my head. He's in room 115 at Motel 6, yours free. 555-2851
Yes, it's the perfect form for surviving a car crash. But it's also the perfect form for so much more, like surviving the trauma of reading any news headline in 2016.
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