The cops are surrounding the house. They got some dogs angry dogs barking, but they'll never find you. You've circled the neighborhood a few times, and no one seems to be following you, except some minivan has been trailing your ass for the last four blocks. Maybe it's a cop. Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit. Should you floor it? You're screwed. Ugh, you really don't want to go to ja...Hey, this song is in Rock Band 2.
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  • Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.

  • BarkWire.com Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver

    BarkWire.com Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver

    Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.

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