You go back to your room to arm yourself. All this walking has you a little gassed, but the adrenaline is really kicking in. Think about how cool your blog will be after you post that you killed a conservative. Maybe CNN will cover it? You'll be a celebrity. But first, you need a weapon. Where would one be? Nothing in the kitchen, nothing under the couch, and nothing in the closet except that proton pack you used for an Egon Spengler outfit last year. Best Ghost Buster costume ever.
Ugh, this thing must weigh, like, fifteen pounds. You equip the costume piece on your back and walk down the stairs clenching the handrails while verbally pumping yourself up. "McCain? Really Keith? Man, I thought you were cool too. Sorry I have to do this, but.. zzzzzzzZZZZZZRRRRRAAAAAAAAAaaaaa--I'M CROSSING THE STREAMS YOU OLD TURD--aaaaaaaaaaa." You stop for a quick breathe before continuing, "aaaaaaaaaa-I'm setting out the trap now-aaaaaAaAAAAAAAaaaazrack. One dead conservative." You smirk while imagining his old wrinkly body swirling down you're ghost catcher.
"Whoa, cool Halloween costume. You going to a party?"
"Oh hey Keith, I didn't see you. Yeah, umm, I'm on my way to a party, but I'll get you later."
FAILURE! The jerk survived and it's almost noon. You have to get to Wendy's fast before the lunch rush gets there. Get to the Ecto 1!
Your lair. Maybe you lure victims to it, maybe you hide in it between killings, or maybe you haunt it 24/7 because you’re tragically confined by a curse. Whatever the situation, for most of us monsters, a living/un-living space is an important part of our identities. In this column, Monstergeddon award winners share their lair tips and techniques!
Works great on my child, who hasn't barked at all for as long as she's worn the apparatus. When she turns three, we will remove it for a trial period.
The famed gonzo otaku journalist writes about the death of gaming culture in 2014.
Try not to break your console while I try not to break my cyber brain.
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