You go back to your room to arm yourself. All this walking has you a little gassed, but the adrenaline is really kicking in. Think about how cool your blog will be after you post that you killed a conservative. Maybe CNN will cover it? You'll be a celebrity. But first, you need a weapon. Where would one be? Nothing in the kitchen, nothing under the couch, and nothing in the closet except that proton pack you used for an Egon Spengler outfit last year. Best Ghost Buster costume ever.
Ugh, this thing must weigh, like, fifteen pounds. You equip the costume piece on your back and walk down the stairs clenching the handrails while verbally pumping yourself up. "McCain? Really Keith? Man, I thought you were cool too. Sorry I have to do this, but.. zzzzzzzZZZZZZRRRRRAAAAAAAAAaaaaa--I'M CROSSING THE STREAMS YOU OLD TURD--aaaaaaaaaaa." You stop for a quick breathe before continuing, "aaaaaaaaaa-I'm setting out the trap now-aaaaaAaAAAAAAAaaaazrack. One dead conservative." You smirk while imagining his old wrinkly body swirling down you're ghost catcher.
"Whoa, cool Halloween costume. You going to a party?"
"Oh hey Keith, I didn't see you. Yeah, umm, I'm on my way to a party, but I'll get you later."
FAILURE! The jerk survived and it's almost noon. You have to get to Wendy's fast before the lunch rush gets there. Get to the Ecto 1!
You may have thought that a long dead author who was basically terrified of black people would be bad at the dozens. And you'd be right.
Dr. Oz, professional TV doctor, offers up some dieting tips and advice on how to remove all your negative ions.
Push button, get infinite gameplay and pleasure. Or attempt a 3 point shot.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.