Okay, okay, okay. How are you going to say this? Keith, could you, umm, well today is the end of daylight savings, so, umm, you sort of woke me up. Yeah, that'll work, maybe. Wait, what the hell. Is that a McCain sign on the door? Alright, Keith. There shall be no mercy.
Kill Keith's Dog
Obviously, the first thing necessary to getting back in shape is buying a bunch of expensive knick-knacks.
Finally, a look at the candidate's long-delayed tax returns.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.