You wait in your apartment until Keith leaves. He usually walks to the DairyMart on the corner for beef jerky, so you don't have much time. That scene in The Godfather with the horse head was pretty memorable. Keith will get the message of a dead dog: Vote Obama. Alright, he's out of sight. What does a murderer wear? You try to get your best Dexter outfit: gloves and a tight shirt. Well, the only tight shirt you own is that size medium Threadless shirt with the Pirate Ninja on it. Dangerous and funny at the same time
Hmm. Locked. You try running against his door a few times. This shit is hard. By the barks coming from the inside, the dog is mad, but you're going to choke that bitch out. You eventually manage to bust the door open. Your rage is phenomenal. Time to kill that dog. "Come here doggy, doggy, doggy." You get blindsided by the beast as it sinks its ugly-ass dogteeth into you. You throw it off and try to put it in the sleeper hold, but it seems ineffective. The dog knocks you over and pins you against the wall.Blood spills onto your t-shirt. You scream for help and napkins, but no one answers. That shirt was a limited print too.
Not what I had in mind when I ordered an Italian gondolier. This is literally just a tiny toy. Needless to say, the Italian businessmen were not impressed and I looked like a damn fool. We lost the pizza pie account and will have to lay off half our factory.
Did you know that you only use 10% of your brain? You may have heard that before. But what if you could use 100%? YOU CAN!
Time to applaud the man who applauds in a loop until the end of time.
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