This article is part of the CONEX Convict Connections series.
CONEX > D Block > Missed Connections > m4m
We Looked Upon the Ten-Thousand Eyes of Eternity
Holla At: Clavo Andy @ D Block on 5
Askin: just lookin to hook it up
Niggas word: AIN'T SHIT YET (0 in last 3 months)
You were a covered in swastikas and pentagrams looking for a way out of W-Block with your friend. I was the guy in the cape made from yogurt tops stitched together. I shewed you to the hatch to X-Block. You dared threw it open and your compatriot stood nearest.
Can you remember what we saw? I do not. Only the vaguest sense of things moving. Things that should not be. Huge and old things. They took away your friend and left only pile of dust and hairs and broken shiv blades. Do you remember the smell? A perfumed oil and sweetly rotted meat. It still clings to the tiny hairs in my nostrils.
I want to go back there with you. It calls to me. Go back with me. I feel we can never be whole until we know what it is exactly waiting on the other side of the hatch to X-Block.
I will also jack you off if you want.
Sleeping with AC is at this point a basic human right. But if you're one of the doomed souls forced to deal with global warming on a nightly basis, here's an hourly breakdown on how to get the most out of your inferno hellscape of a bedroom.
Some of the Internet's most veteran anatomy experts convened to discuss the stolen nude photos of Jennifer Lawrence and other beautiful celebrities.
We're spelunking through the movie catacombs this week. Join us, won't you?
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.
The inmates of Lambspoke Penitentiary utilize the CONEX network to exchange goods, services, and rumors as things begin to go amiss at Lambspoke.