You wait for what seems like an eternity. In reality it's about 4 minutes. While you wait you think about your dog papier-mâché collection.
Pretty impressive huh? Well, you need to fix that dachshund up a bit. Either way you decide that waiting is stupid and open the door.
Donald Trump is constantly being compared to infamous political figures and villains from movies. Finally, the correct comparison is here.
Now that Bob Dylan has won the Nobel Prize in literature, hopefully these other great musicians will win the award in the future.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.