You wait for what seems like an eternity. In reality it's about 4 minutes. While you wait you think about your dog papier-mâché collection.
Pretty impressive huh? Well, you need to fix that dachshund up a bit. Either way you decide that waiting is stupid and open the door.
Top 10 Billionaires in the World? Most Powerful People in Tech? We've seen lists just like these for decades now. Recent features like Best Billionaires Under 40 have attempted to shake things up by getting more specific, but they need to go even further.
RT mobile games reviewer Jeff Glukhov quits RT after being forced to give pro-Russian reviews to various iPhone and Android games.
Kurt Cobain and gang finally learn the truth behind Morton Downey's evil scheme.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.