Dear Ryan Gosling's Character in Only God Forgives,
I run a weird, underground fighting competition and I like to bet on fighters. When I win money I sometimes take that money and spend it on women. It has gotten me into more than a little bit of trouble, but I don't know how to control my urges. What should I do?
Troubled in Thailand
Dear Troubled in Thailand,
Ryan Gosling's Character in Only God Forgives
Republicans announce that all legislation must be voted on at 2am in a secret chamber, with no one but the lobbyists who write the bills seeing a single line of text. Democrats' Response: Stumbling around a field stepping on rakes, handles smashing them directly in their faces every single time.
There is a witch hunt going on right now and I promise you that you will not find any witches in the pleasure room in my congressional office.
For fans of meaningless awards, these awards are extra meaningless.
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