Dear Ryan Gosling's Character in Only God Forgives,
I run a weird, underground fighting competition and I like to bet on fighters. When I win money I sometimes take that money and spend it on women. It has gotten me into more than a little bit of trouble, but I don't know how to control my urges. What should I do?
Troubled in Thailand
Dear Troubled in Thailand,
Ryan Gosling's Character in Only God Forgives
Cons: causes bad nightmares. I used to have to eat beef until I passed out to have these kind of terrors, but this machine does it for me every time I fall asleep inside it.
Sorry about the blurry photo. I was lunging at my phone, yelling at it to take a clear picture. It's the only image of me that exists. I'd take another picture for you, but I'm in the middle of a rigorous trampoline session.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.