You never figure out what Communications really meant, but it doesn't matter. You graduated and you got to take a bunch of classes with the football team which is pretty cool. After college you relax all summer and once fall comes around you take it easy. By Christmas your mom is starting to worry. She just wants you to be happy.
She wakes you up one afternoon and tells you the best advice in the world. "Do whatever makes you happy." It makes so much sense you feel sort of stupid for not thinking of it earlier. Why hadn't you ever thought about a career in Beer Drinking? You immediately put on your favorite flannel and head over to Bill's Bar and Grill.
Five years later, and your mother should be so proud of you. You work and have fun and don't have to get out of bed until the afternoon. It's the best of every world, like having a PS4 and an XBone and if you really wanted a Wii U but definitely the first two. Whoa, right? And, best of all, you're totally using your degree. I mean, how else are you talking to all those people?
The treacherous New England Patriots are guilty of deflating their footballs. We must punish them severely in the name of holy retribution. This transgression has been the biggest headline in the United States for an entire week, and it should be the primary concern of all nations.
We have used extensive market research to determine the average consumers of America's favorite rolls of caramel-oozing choco cysts.
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