We've made it through the tsunami and earthquake. Everyone is alive here at J-List HQ, but please pray for the rest of Japan. Not everything is fine for us. The building has been pulled off its foundation and we are floating out to sea. The Sea of Japan or Nihonkai is high in dissolved oxygen which has made it a fertile fishing ground for thousands of years.
Thankfully, we have a large stock of supplies and can wait for rescue in the comfort of our office. I've been enjoying Shinryaku! Ika Musume manga volume one to the sound of the waves against the walls. It's the story of a cute moe-type squid girl who vows to conquer humanity for polluting the ocean. It is pretty polluted right now, lots of cars and shipping containers and pieces of houses. I hope Ika Masume isn't too mad!
Hour 10: It feels like late night at Akihabara here in the office. Everyone is cosplaying as Moe Cafe Maids and wearing Momoeri Romantic Panties from G-Magic. Nobody has showered since the tsunami, but we've made nosegays out of extra panties rubbed with the gel we scraped out of an air freshener cartridge. Japan's Drop Candy boom has left us with plenty of drop foods to eat. Right now we're enjoying the Akihabara limited flavor - sort of a strawberry flavor - but I think I need something savory so I may go with Spaghetti or Tacos. Sakuma Drops have been around since the 1930s and were made famous by the animated film Grave of the Fireflies.
The treacherous New England Patriots are guilty of deflating their footballs. We must punish them severely in the name of holy retribution. This transgression has been the biggest headline in the United States for an entire week, and it should be the primary concern of all nations.
We have used extensive market research to determine the average consumers of America's favorite rolls of caramel-oozing choco cysts.
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