This article is part of the Roamin' Dad series.
Dear Valued Former Tenant,
In regards to your latest letter, we have consulted with our attorneys, and we have concluded that you will absolutely not be receiving your full deposit of $600 back. Not now, not ever. Far too much damage has occurred to the property, and the threatening photos you enclosed of yourself giving rude gestures did not help your case.
The "cat ecosystem" you mentioned (which we not only had to dismantle, but first hose out) cost the entirety of your deposit to repair. Not to mention the other things we'd found upon further inspection:
We hope this helps you understand our reasoning for retaining your deposit. We wish you the best of luck with your future living arrangements.
ValuHome Properties, Inc.
Not what I had in mind when I ordered an Italian gondolier. This is literally just a tiny toy. Needless to say, the Italian businessmen were not impressed and I looked like a damn fool. We lost the pizza pie account and will have to lay off half our factory.
Did you know that you only use 10% of your brain? You may have heard that before. But what if you could use 100%? YOU CAN!
Time to applaud the man who applauds in a loop until the end of time.
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