Mom said that this card is only for emergencies. She even made a chart to help you identify if something is important or not. Well, it doesn't say a thing about going to the Olympics. You find a flight, and based on the cost, you think the gods must be on your side.

Oops, nope. Unfortunately, the $500 cap on your card makes international travel difficult. But don't worry; it isn't too late for plan B. Your Olympic dreams are not yet crushed

Try Craigslist

More Front Page News

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Freakypizza: The Sweater Curse

    Freakypizza: The Sweater Curse

    Elliot said my breakup must have been due to the sweater curse, an unexplained phenomenon where anyone who gives their significant other a hand-knit sweater gets dumped. The only way to break the curse, Elliot said, was to destroy the sweater.

  • Drinking Fountain Enthusiast Lingo Drinking Fountain Enthusiast Lingo

    Can't tell a drinking fountain from a urinal? We've got you covered. Brush up on your drinking fountain enthusiast -- or sipper -- vocabulary and learn to talk and swap sips with the best of them.

Copyright ©2015 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.