The stewardesses on the flight are really nice, but they refuse to give you more soda. You're trying to concentrate about the games, but Chad keeps bothering you with his hands and whispers. Hopefully he'll disappear soon. You put headphones in to block out his voice and the memories of what you had to do for this plane ticket. Transformers is blaring into your ears from the in-flight movie, which is cool, but you already have it for your PSP, so you decide to meditate to music instead. You're bummed to see that you only have two CDs to choose from. Do you select Significant Other by Limp Bizkit or The Very Best of Bread by Bread? Making the wrong choice could have devastating effects on your journey for gold.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Cons: causes bad nightmares. I used to have to eat beef until I passed out to have these kind of terrors, but this machine does it for me every time I fall asleep inside it.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.