The soft rattlings of Bread leave you peaceful if not completely comatose. You feel at one with the world as you wander into downtown Beijing. The javelin rests on your shoulder, your quart of urine carefully held by Chad, as the two of you search for the Olympic celebrations. A block ahead you notice five colorful mascots huddled on the ground. Perhaps they know how to get to the stadium, you think slowly approaching the rainbow group. You accidentally trip over a pile of garbage when you're twenty feet around. The startled mascots turn towards you one at a time, each more adorable than the last. They slowly approach with open arms, and as they get closer, you aren't so sure about your safety.
You can realize that you’ve wasted the last few moments of youth at an occupation you hate or fool yourself into a numb compliance with one of these great excuses.
You've heard of #BlackLivesMatter and #AllLivesMatter, but the ancient voice of a mountain offers us the hardest truth of all: #NoLivesMatter. And also some opinions about immigrants.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.