The soft rattlings of Bread leave you peaceful if not completely comatose. You feel at one with the world as you wander into downtown Beijing. The javelin rests on your shoulder, your quart of urine carefully held by Chad, as the two of you search for the Olympic celebrations. A block ahead you notice five colorful mascots huddled on the ground. Perhaps they know how to get to the stadium, you think slowly approaching the rainbow group. You accidentally trip over a pile of garbage when you're twenty feet around. The startled mascots turn towards you one at a time, each more adorable than the last. They slowly approach with open arms, and as they get closer, you aren't so sure about your safety.
Do all of your holiday shopping in the Star Citizen online store! We have great deals on space ships for a game that may not be released for years. Think of these as investments in your future enjoyment.
The first phase of The Olive Garden's cyber rollout will introduce their Neverending Pneumatic Pasta Tube. This works on the same principal as bank drive-thru deposit tubes, but with unfrozen linguini and spaghetti.
It's still okay to like Ben Stiller, guys.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.