I turn around and see my truck being smashed into a snow bank by a battered vehicle covered with paint scratches and blood. The driver has fused with his machine. Wires run from the steering column into his arms like veins, and a pair of segmented tubes connect his eyes to the dashboard. He revs his engine, which makes a deafening sound somewhere between a roar and a scream.
I start to run, but I slip and fall on a patch of ice I neglected to salt. The truck speeds toward me, its plow a giant, ravenous mouth. My life, consisting entirely of memories of plowing snow, flashes before my eyes.
In my final moments I frantically search my pockets for something to throw at the truck's windshield. All I find is an empty crack globe. Devoid of snow, it looks vaguely mocking, like the snow inside has escaped and is going to fall on the human race forever.
William "drawbot" Cook described this illustration assignment as "the perfect way to get back at winter"; contact him here if you'd like to commission other forms of artistic revenge against seasons!
Dr. Oz, professional TV doctor, offers up some dieting tips and advice on how to remove all your negative ions.
I was able to pull some strings and secure an advance copy of this year’s PAX panel schedule. Enjoy!
Push button, get infinite gameplay and pleasure. Or attempt a 3 point shot.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.