1. Subj: EMAIL FROM ROAMIN' DAD!!!

    Subj: EMAIL FROM ROAMIN' DAD!!!

    EMAIL FROM DAD ON THE ROAD !!!!!!DETAILS MY DADVENTURES IN THE FORM OF ELECTRONIC MEDIA with pics for the kiddos

  2. Subj: ROAMIN DAD LOSES A CAR

    Subj: ROAMIN DAD LOSES A CAR

    Yes Thats Right I Lost The Dang Car. It's ok though I am getting a ride from a woman with a uterus problem

  3. Subj: DAD BACK ON THE ROAD

    Subj: DAD BACK ON THE ROAD

    back on the road after all these weeks !!! i got a car fair and square and now it's time for me to hit the road jack!!!!!!!

  4. Subj: ROAMIN DAD'S WILL

    Subj: ROAMIN DAD'S WILL

    Some thing is happening to me out here in the wild and there are things i need to tell you before it is too late for your dear old pop..

  5. Subj: IT IS POSSIBLE THAT I AM INVINCIBLE

    Subj: IT IS POSSIBLE THAT I AM INVINCIBLE

    Back in the game thanks to much needed rest. Working on my novel and my spiritual trip. Maybe i cannot die..

  6. Subj: I AM SO SORRY ABOUT YOUR OLD PET CAT !!

    Subj: I AM SO SORRY ABOUT YOUR OLD PET CAT !!

    Your dear old pop has a big time secret to tell you about your old cat. Also I love you !!!

  7. Subj: IMPORTANT INFO ABOUT BACK YARD

    Subj: IMPORTANT INFO ABOUT BACK YARD

    I hope you have a shovel or can borrow from one of the neighbors who doesnt hate us.. big info here...

  8. Subj: THE UPSTAIRS TRUNK

    Subj: THE UPSTAIRS TRUNK

    No time for chit chat my life is at stake please go through my belongings and may they benefit you in all your dealings !!

  9. Subj: IF I HAD 1 QUESTION TO ASK MCCAIN/OBAMA

    Subj: IF I HAD 1 QUESTION TO ASK MCCAIN/OBAMA

    If i could ask mccan or obama 1 question it would be what are they going to do with the economy. i gota business to start!!

  10. Subj: I HAVE THE POWER OF THE MOUNTAIN

    Subj: I HAVE THE POWER OF THE MOUNTAIN

    I have awakened with an amazing new power from a mysterious benefactor....the mountain!!

  11. Subj: LETS TALK TURKEY WITH DAD

    Subj: LETS TALK TURKEY WITH DAD

    I have a pest in my life and it's natures greatest hen, the neighborhood turkey

  12. Subj: ITS THAT TIME OF YEAR...

    Subj: ITS THAT TIME OF YEAR...

    Quick dad tip when someone asks what is the reason for the season say "mess with the best die like the rest" always answer a rhyme with another rhyme

  13. SUBJ: HOW ARE THOSE RESOLUTIONS COMIN???

    SUBJ: HOW ARE THOSE RESOLUTIONS COMIN???

    I have done 30% of my new years mottos and nothing else feels fresher!! Im a man of my word at least 30 percent of the time

  14. Subj: Dear E-Bay You Sent Me A Filthy Bed

    Subj: Dear E-Bay You Sent Me A Filthy Bed

    Here is the letter i wrote to get my money back from the fraud bed corp. Read it and "sleep"!! that is my bed joke but this is no laughing matter!!

  15. Subj: I WILL OWN THIS BANK SOMEDAY

    Subj: I WILL OWN THIS BANK SOMEDAY

    I am going to run this curmudgeon bank some day so join it now... lets bank!!

  16. Subj: A HOT TIP FROM "CRIME ROVER"..AKA ME

    Subj: A HOT TIP FROM "CRIME ROVER"..AKA ME

    I have been Tasked with DEFENDING SAFETY and showing you how to put your hair out if its on fire

  17. Subj: HAPPY HORSE BIRTH D.!!!!

    Subj: HAPPY HORSE BIRTH D.!!!!

    No Horse Bones About It... Its the horses special day!!!! A Fine Horse I Dont Forget

  18. Subj: MY MISSION IS CLEAR

    Subj: MY MISSION IS CLEAR

    I, your estranged father, have learned an important lesson about remodeling and time warps and now i know what i was meant to do this whole dang time

  19. Subj: IM OUT OF COMMISSION...

    Subj: IM OUT OF COMMISSION...

    ROSS BEANIS and i are going to make money and you will see. we will be famous business men like a couple of rambos

  20. Subj: THE HORSE AND THE RUMPUS ROOM

    Subj: THE HORSE AND THE RUMPUS ROOM

    The time my arch nemesis and also best non-man horse friend destroyed the only room i cared about and the only place i ever felt i belonged

  21. Subj: PLEASE DONT TRY TO BE LIKE ME

    Subj: PLEASE DONT TRY TO BE LIKE ME

    I have done a lot of deeds through my life big and small and now I must warn you of your future

  22. Subj: YOUR SISTER IS GETTING MARRIED TO "GREG"

    Subj: YOUR SISTER IS GETTING MARRIED TO "GREG"

    I have important news about your idiot sister who bungled it and is now engaged to a loaf of crud named GREG.

  23. Subj: REVIEW OF YOUR SISTERS WEDDING

    Subj: REVIEW OF YOUR SISTERS WEDDING

    The results are in!!!! Your dear old dad attended the wedding and met the GREG FAMILY. What a time

  24. Subj: MY WHOLE LIFE CONDENSED FOR A MOVIE

    Subj: MY WHOLE LIFE CONDENSED FOR A MOVIE

    Your heavenly dad (me) is ready to have his story blossom into the big screen sure to be a block buster....!!

  25. Subj: A NOVEL IDEA...

    Subj: A NOVEL IDEA...

    This is your father. I am going to win big on National Novel Wiring Month. Read the storyline here, it is a crowd pleaser!

  26. Subj: DINE AT "Farmer's Choice"

    Subj: DINE AT "Farmer's Choice"

    Hello from your father I am all set to open a restaurant and succeed where i used to fail

  27. Subj: MY BRUSH WITH DEATH

    Subj: MY BRUSH WITH DEATH

    This is your dad writing to let you know I witnessed the miracle of life because I went to the wrong place at the wrong time

  28. Subj: MILK

    Subj: MILK

    HELLO it is your dad emailing, I have a fantastic new career in the field of MILK

  29. Subj: LITTLE PROBLEMS...

    Subj: LITTLE PROBLEMS...

    Hello it is your father writing. I have a few small problems but that is what makes life worth living!!

  30. Subj: ME v. WICCA BUFFET

    Subj: ME v. WICCA BUFFET

    HELLO!!! Your estranged father here, I am writing to tell you about my upcoming court cases where I will win big and eat like a prince.

  31. Subj: LETS MAKE TURBO TARTS FAMOUS

    Subj: LETS MAKE TURBO TARTS FAMOUS

    My bumbling boss won't help me launch my dessert delight!!

  32. Subj: EGGS

    Subj: EGGS

    HELLO I had big egg plans but there was a problem.

  33. Subj: IT IS MY BIRTH DAY!!!!!

    Subj: IT IS MY BIRTH DAY!!!!!

    Hello!!! It is my birth day today and so far it's fine, not like those old birth days.

  34. Subj: ELK

    Subj: ELK

    I have a vicious but not unwarranted grudge against one of nature's biggest beasts

  35. Subj: RESUME.DAD.TXT.doc

    Subj: RESUME.DAD.TXT.doc

    It is time to become a workin' man yet again!!!!

  36. Subj: ROOMMATES

    Subj: ROOMMATES

    HELLO I have taken roommates!! Or rather, they have taken me... by surprise!!

  37. Subj: MY MYTHIC BIRDS

    Subj: MY MYTHIC BIRDS

    I am remembering a little bit today about the whole "Bird Affair" that nobody wants to talk about!!

  38. Subj: CYBERFACE FOREVER

    Subj: CYBERFACE FOREVER

    My Cyberbabe is taking on a life of her own, but at what cost?!

  39. Subj: FRANCHISE OPPORTUNITY!!

    Subj: FRANCHISE OPPORTUNITY!!

    All Hallow's Riches To You And Yours This Holiday Season!! -My motto now

  40. Subj: I WAS BULLIED TOO...

    Subj: I WAS BULLIED TOO...

    "What's The Bully Story" you may be asking me! And I am about to say it!

  41. Subj: AN OPEN LETTER TO THE BBB

    Subj: AN OPEN LETTER TO THE BBB

    It is about a car that I bought from a big man who made threats on me.

  42. Subj: WELCOME NEW NEIGHBORS

    Subj: WELCOME NEW NEIGHBORS

    A short and fancy letter to the soon-to-be new tenant next door, from me, a passionate man.

  43. Subj: I AM SORRY

    Subj: I AM SORRY

    The year is new and I feel like a new man! Let me apologize now!!

  44. Subj: MY FURTHER REGRETS

    Subj: MY FURTHER REGRETS

    I have a lot of sad things to tell you before I forget most of them to the demons of time!!

  45. Subj: I TRIED TO STOP THE ZOO PROBLEM

    Subj: I TRIED TO STOP THE ZOO PROBLEM

    The animal problems are some of my most regretful!

  46. Subj: CYBER GAME SHOW CONTESTANT??

    Subj: CYBER GAME SHOW CONTESTANT??

    You call that bucket of bolts a computer woman? I will show you a computer woman.

  47. Subj: I WANT MY DEPOSIT BACK

    Subj: I WANT MY DEPOSIT BACK

    Engaged in a battle of wits because I tried to make pets fun again!!

  48. Subj: Your Depost Refund Request

    Subj: Your Depost Refund Request

    Thank you for your thoughtful letter. We regret to inform you that you will not be receiving your deposit back.

  49. Subj: FITNESS ZONE

    Subj: FITNESS ZONE

    Problem at local gym. There is a problem at the gym. Please fix it, gym people.

  50. Subj: THE RAFFLE DAY

    Subj: THE RAFFLE DAY

    When you think about the excitement of the raffle does it remind you of BIRTH?

  51. Subj: IT WAS WRONG OF THEM TO FIRE ME

    Subj: IT WAS WRONG OF THEM TO FIRE ME

    Please read about the newest crime of the century happening before your very eyes!!

  52. Subj: RATSPLUS ENHANCED

    Subj: RATSPLUS ENHANCED

    This Social Rat business is about to get off the ground, starring me and the rats!

  53. Subj: CHRISTMAS TIDINGS UPON YOU AND YOURS!!!!

    Subj: CHRISTMAS TIDINGS UPON YOU AND YOURS!!!!

    I have a lucrative job helping old people with very little bird duty!!!!

  54. Subj: CAT RANCH

    Subj: CAT RANCH

    My Favorite Cats that I'm friends with now.

  55. Subj: MILK PROBLEMS

    Subj: MILK PROBLEMS

    I got into a milk match with a real piece of work named RUSTY.

  56. Subj: MORE PRIZED PIGS??? !!!!!

    Subj: MORE PRIZED PIGS??? !!!!!

    I have a job now doing Pig Care for the mayor. His prized pigs can't be beat!!!

  57. Subj: SLEEP

    Subj: SLEEP

    I have had lots of dream trouble lately but my confessions may help me rest.

  58. Subj: WHAT A BAD YEAR

    Subj: WHAT A BAD YEAR

    A short list of my regrets from this year. Boy hooty.

  59. Subj: THINGS I RAN AWAY FROM

    Subj: THINGS I RAN AWAY FROM

    "Running got me to where I am today and I will never stop" -me

  60. Subj: DO NOT GO TO "ROAD GYM"

    Subj: DO NOT GO TO "ROAD GYM"

    I had a bad time at this gym and I will not go back to it.

  61. Subj: TRUE LOVE... OH BABEY

    Subj: TRUE LOVE... OH BABEY

    Recalling my past loves and why nobody likes me.

  62. Subj: HOT MILK AGAIN

    Subj: HOT MILK AGAIN

    I am drinking lots of hot milk again but it's for a reason this time!

  63. Subj: CYBER FACE 4.0 RELEASED

    Subj: CYBER FACE 4.0 RELEASED

    The world's most sophisticated chat babe is ready to be pleased by you!!

  64. Subj: PET LORD CONFESSION

    Subj: PET LORD CONFESSION

    I need to tell you all about the ostrich and the dancing and why I gave it all up!

  65. Subj: I WON A CONTEST

    Subj: I WON A CONTEST

    It was a food contest and I am still full from it many hours later!

  66. Subj: THINGS STOLEN BY BULLDOG

    Subj: THINGS STOLEN BY BULLDOG

    Your old pet "BRET" stole a lot of things from our friends but I loved him dearly!

  67. Letter to the Editor: BUFF MAN PROBLEM

    Letter to the Editor: BUFF MAN PROBLEM

    I don't like Gerry I think he is a bad man who chases me.

  68. Subj: SEND A "RATGRAM"

    Subj: SEND A "RATGRAM"

    My old business RatsPlus is announcing a new service, "RATGRAM"!!

  69. Subj: HORSE MEMORIES

    Subj: HORSE MEMORIES

    I am remembering your dear old friend the horse today.

  70. Subj: I WENT ON A BAD GAME SHOW

    Subj: I WENT ON A BAD GAME SHOW

    The contestants were me, the mayor, and the mayor's prized pig. It was a bad time.

  71. Subj: MY LUCKY BEANS AND THE HORSE

    Subj: MY LUCKY BEANS AND THE HORSE

    The story of me and the neighborhood horse as well as my famous Lucky Beans and the Horse Dance.

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.