Hailing from NYC at the tender age of 19 (or whatever, he's way too young), John V. makes it seem way too easy.

Abbi is an NYC comedienne, writer, performer, and natural wit-- not to mention a must-follow!

Uhhhh. Yeah, no. Ok? Uhhh, yeah. Former Cybergoth Wayne aka Mike posts some really good tweets. And I say "former" Cybergoth because he was one for a really long time until this week. Good try at being a Cybergoth, Mike.

Bro Pair is a lot smarter than me and I only pretend to know what he's talking about most of the time. He's also hilarious and a jewel of a person.

Comedienne, writer, actor, singer, and SNL alum also has one of the best signal-to-noise ratios in the dang business, if you ask me.

Gloria is a news editor at Jezebel and writer at other popular things you enjoy at a regular basis. The business hasn't hardened her heart into a cold, stiff wad just yet.

Emily writes, comedes, podcasts, and is consistently hilarious. Click on the follow button.

A nice man from California with a bunch of good-ass tweets under his belt already. There are probably more coming.

Writer, mom, endless fountain of humor, and sometimes she tweets, too.

Nobody knows who Animal Drums is, and nobody likes Animal Drums. Don't click on any Animal Drums tweets except for these.

– Jon "@fart" Hendren (@fart)

More Front Page News

This Week on Something Awful...

Copyright ©2015 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.