Persalphal Ephordiati Escondisis Ro is dressed in the vestments of a life guard. She cannot know the meaning of these clothes. Her flesh is to new. It is a mockery of the old ways. When we were divided. Before our thoughts mingled in the swim.


Tensor: I detest this but I cannot prevent my body from climaxing repeatedly.

Pinion-Runnel: I am forcing myself to be sick to reduce my arousal.

Tensor: Be careful or you might harm yourself.

Pinion-Runnel: Why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we torture our bodies and minds with the fantasy constructed by the hypnagogues from our misbegotten stone? Why do we inflict the impossible urges upon ourselves?

Tensor: To feel something real.

Pinion-Runnel: This is all we can hope for now.

– Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons (@sexyfacts4u)

More Front Page News

This Week on Something Awful...

  • The Fracking Fables of Groggery Gibbonman

    The Fracking Fables of Groggery Gibbonman

    ‘Toad coin?’ wondered the traveler as he examined the pebble. It did not look all that different from any other pebble, and certainly nothing like a coin. ‘What manner of coin has no head or tail, and bears no seal or flag? Who backs this toad coin, the toad bank? The toad treasury!?’ The traveler laughed, but the toads croaked sternly back at him.

  • Your Dog is Totally Worth Refrigerated Food

    Your Dog is Totally Worth Refrigerated Food

    Spending $10-15 a day on perishable organic dog food is not a sign of a decadent culture in terminal decline, it's actually real good and worth it.

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.