Joowix Shunt Belephon is clad in red. One shoe is visible. Perhaps only a single shoe exists. The whiskers suggest readiness for mating.
Tensor: They adapt naturally to positions that arouse us.
Pinion-Runnel: Their lithe bodies contort to capture our desire, but do not be deceived. The others pursue the stone. If the humans have it...
Tensor: We will never return to the swim.
Pinion-Runnel: Each body a vessel of agonizing solitude, ruled by chemical reactions and the old ways of bones and blood.
Tensor: I frequently require the elimination of waste.
Pinion-Runnel: Look at us. What female would supplicate herself to us? We are disgusting meat piles.
Finally: an advice column for the rest of us! (Who seek to enslave humanity.)
Even the most fervent gun control advocate would admit that guns kill people, not other guns. We must become the guns we wish to see in the world.
A Goon outs himself as a wizard and gets a warm reception from the rogues/rangers/paladins gallery!
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.