Joowix Shunt Belephon is clad in red. One shoe is visible. Perhaps only a single shoe exists. The whiskers suggest readiness for mating.
Tensor: They adapt naturally to positions that arouse us.
Pinion-Runnel: Their lithe bodies contort to capture our desire, but do not be deceived. The others pursue the stone. If the humans have it...
Tensor: We will never return to the swim.
Pinion-Runnel: Each body a vessel of agonizing solitude, ruled by chemical reactions and the old ways of bones and blood.
Tensor: I frequently require the elimination of waste.
Pinion-Runnel: Look at us. What female would supplicate herself to us? We are disgusting meat piles.
Celebrate diversity and inclusiveness at your next protest by not calling Donald Trump a nasty little-hands pisspig bitch.
A true patriot has exactly seven t-shirts, with seven slight variations on a single phrase that tell one powerful story. This is that tale.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.