Pierre Pressure will one day invent a machine that lets dogs curse in Spanish.

LOO gets the theme half right, so good for him. Be sure to turn in some extra credit.

LOO, did you know that in a small town it is not unusual to see a tractor on main street? It's true, LOO.

Subgenius has to practically choplift his abductees into space.

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    Elliot said my breakup must have been due to the sweater curse, an unexplained phenomenon where anyone who gives their significant other a hand-knit sweater gets dumped. The only way to break the curse, Elliot said, was to destroy the sweater.

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    Can't tell a drinking fountain from a urinal? We've got you covered. Brush up on your drinking fountain enthusiast -- or sipper -- vocabulary and learn to talk and swap sips with the best of them.

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